I'm not going to Mark's ordination tomorrow (Sunday, September 6th). While I would love to support someone who has meant a great deal to me for more than eight years now; someone who lived in my apartment for two summers, and someone that I love as much as any one I can think of...I'm just can't make myself go to his ordination tomorrow evening.
I don't want to be bitter, angry, or even hurt. I'm not bitter...and I'm definitely not angry. I do feel some hurt...and this too shall pass.
Eventually.
I don't want to set myself up for something that I am not expecting, for something that could be very difficult. I just hope I made the right decision.
2 comments:
Phil: IMHO I hope you don't regret not going. I know a man who was on the "outs" with his daughter (whom he had lost for 13 years while the mother ran). So much so that he wouldn't go to her wedding. He now regrets it as they have patched things up. As i stated earlier, I would still go even if it meant sitting incognito in the back.
Realistically, attending an event like this isn't going to make much headway in compelling him to drift back into the friendship. He'll be too caught up with being honored.
And consider the position you are in now: you would attend a big show not to celebrate with him but to achieve some "do the right thing" effect and possibly draw a bad friend back into a friendship. And he may be so caught up that he doesn't know you're there.
The position he's put you in has forced you to create so many agendas for attending. You don't have to play this game, really. There are far more personal ways to reconnect if either of you are ever compelled to do that.
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