Overheard in a seminary classroom...

These bits of wisdom were passed down to me about 12 years ago, from some unknown seminary, and I think they are OUTSTANDING:

1. Hebrews draws heavily on Leviticus. That's a big help, NOBODY reads Leviticus.
2. Novices think they get holy in 2 days.
3. If you read the Hauerwas article, then you don't need to remember it.
4. The ten lost tribes of Israel were not just casually misplaced.
5. By the 7th time you've gone through the 3-year lectionary cycle, a new idea is a blessing.
6. There's a blessing on intelligent guessers.
7. Here I am, send him. This is NOT my call.
8. Nobody ever comes to a priest and asks if it is substance or essence.
9. My Bible begins, "Once upon a time..."
10. That's a waste of time unless you are planning to write your own Gospel--and I'm highly discouraging that!
11. Whenever you want to quote something in the Bible, use a foreign language.
12. Bad biology produces bad theology...but let's not go there right now...
13. The church is allergic to the Holy Spirit.
14. ...but I don't want to get off on that important and very interesting topic.
15. That's not a verb you would want to meet in a dark alley.
16. The Roman Church has its home in the Anglican tradition.
17. Christianity is something you catch...like a disease.
18. One good thin is that this issue isn't going away--sex will be with us forever!
19. It's a necessary thing to take an exam..given that it's a fallen world.
20. A comfortable monastery: That's just an upper class men's club in Benedictine habits.
21. It's like baseball. You put your good hitter up first [Matthew], then your worst hitter[Mark], and you close with your clean-up hitter [John].
22. Bishops are important because they are Bishops and not because you are supposed to do what they say.
23. There are certain times we don't need God. Especially at a party.
24. A slowly deteriorating religion--that's the one I believe in.
25. I need to press on so that we don't get bogged down in sin for the whole semester, no matter how much some of us might enjoy that!