"The pharisee within is the religious face of the impostor. The idealistic, perfectionistic, and neurotic self is oppressed by what Alan Jones calls a terrorist spirituality. A vague uneasiness about ever being in right relationship with God haunts the pharisee's conscience. The compulsion to feel safe with God fuels this neurotic desire for perfection. This compulsive endless moralistic self-evaluation makes it impossible to feel accepted before God. His perception of personal failure leads to a precipitous loss of self-esteem and triggers anxiety, fear, and depression.
The Pharisee within usurps my true self whenever I prefer appearances to reality, whenever I am afraid of God, whenever I surrender the control of my soul to rules rather than risk living in union with Jesus, when I choose to look good and not be good, when I prefer appearances to reality. I am reminded of the words of Thomas Merton: "If I have a message to my contemporaries, it is surely this: be anything you like, be madmen, drunks....but at all costs avoid one thing: success.'" Of course Merton is referring to the cult of success, the pharisaic fascination with honor and power, the relentless drive to enhance the image of the impostor in the eyes of the admirers. Conversely, when my false humility spurns the pleasure of achievement and scorns compliments and praise, I become proud of my humility, alienated and isolated from real people, and the impostor rides again!
My resident pharisee is never more prominent than when I assume a stance of moral superiority over racists, bigots, and homophobics. I nod approvingly as the preacher lambastes unbelievers, liberals, New Agers, and others outside the fold. No word would be vitriolic enough for his vigorous condemnation of Hollywood, commercial television, provocative clothing, and rock'n roll.
Yet my library is filled with biblical commentaries and theology books. I attend church regularly, and pray daily. I have a crucifix in my home and cross in my pocket. My life is completely formed and permeated by religion. I abstain from meat on Friday, I give financial support to Christian organizations. I am an evangelist devoted to God and Church.
Yet I must heed Matthew 23:23, 24, 27, 28.
In the parable of the Pharisee and the publican, the Pharisee stands in the temple and prays:
I thank You God that I am not grasping, unjust, adulterous like the rest of mankind, and particularly that I am not like this tax collector here. I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on all I get. (Luke 18:11, 12).
His prayer indicates two telltale flaws. First, he is very conscious of his religiosity and holiness. When he prays it is only thanks for what he has, not a request for what he has not, and is not. His fault is his belief in his faultlessness. He admires himself. The second defect is related to the first: He despises others. He judges and condemns others, because he is convinced that he stands above them. He is a self-righteous man who unrighteously condemns others.
The pharisee who pardons himself is condemned. The tax collector who condemns himself is acquitted. To deny the pharisee within is lethal. It is imperative that we befriend him, dialogue with him, inquire why he must look to sources outside the Kingdom of God for peace and happiness.
At a prayer meeting I attended, a man in his mid-sixties was the first to speak: "I just want to thank God that I have nothing to repent of today." His wife groaned. What he meant was he had not embezzled, blasphemed, fornicated, or fractured any of the Ten Commandments. He had distanced himself from idolatry, drunkenness, sexual irresponsibility, and similar things. Yet he had never broken through into what the Apostle Paul calls the inner freedom of the children of God.
If we continue to focus solely on the sinner/saint duality in our person and conduct, while ignoring the raging opposition between the pharisee and the child, spiritual growth will come to an abrupt standstill."
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From ABBA'S CHILD: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging Brennan Manning (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1994) pages 86-88.
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