When the "price" was too high....

Few things matter more than gracious and good friendships. After all, the very God who created us in the first place has called us to be in "relationship" with Himself, and in relationship with each other. Such a call can be rewarding and risky....

I had a friend...Chris...in another city and state...someone I felt very close to on many levels. Somehow the Lord made sure that Chris found me in cyberspace when I was "surfing" in places where I had no business...but God wanted me to come back to my senses.

This brother in Christ became my weekly conversation partner, and we laughed and cried together more than once. He came and visited me here in Chicago, and I visited him in his territory.

I thought all was going along pretty well...

Until....

Some so-called concerned friends of Chris' decided that I was "emotionally dependent" and wanted to let him know how they felt. Of course, they were not adult enough to confront me, or to talk with me....yet, they were bold enough to talk about me....in short, GOSSIP.
I never confirmed nor denied "emotional dependency." What I did reject was the "method"--already defined as GOSSIP. (And in case you wonder what the Bible says about tale-bearing and gossiping, just read Proverbs 18, and the entire New Testament).

People whom I trusted were so "trustworthy" they would verbally stab me in the back, and then tell my friend Chris how they "didn't want to get involved." Excuse me...but when you start accusing people of anything, and particularly when you start labeling them with whatever suits your fancy at the time...YOU ARE ALREADY involved.

And sadly enough, my friend Chris bought it all--hook, line, and sinker. He consulted "experts"--who only heard his side of the story...and offered their partial analysis of me. He began treating me like a student, or worse yet, a patient....instead of the brother/friend that I had been previously.

Of course when I called the undisclosed parties to account, all hell broke loose. I was accused of everything except first-degree murder. I was accused of being suicidal, of manipulation, and all other types of ills/disorders/maladies.

All this by people who are Christians, and whom I thought were my friends. Maybe there were my friends....but only in "fair weather."

I was heartbroken. And in some ways, I still am heartbroken.

We've not spoken now in 10 months...and only God knows if we will ever speak again...I guess I'll have to leave it up to His omnipotent wisdom and grace.

I still often wonder what I could have done to repair the breach in this friendship...and yet, I'm not sure that I could have ever repaired it.

But yet, it does hurt deep down.

What really hurts is the "price" of this friendship was just too much for Chris--or at least that's the way it seems to me. He was willing to let people who barely know me, if at all, make such assessments of me...

And to treat me, not as a brother, but as an inferior. When I'm not worthy of any consideration in the relationship...when the biblical injunction to restore and repair applies to everyone...except me, of course.

Sometimes, I guess the "price" is too much...particularly when Christ calls us to lay down our lives for one another (John 15:13).