I experienced the powerful presence of the LORD this morning....while I was sitting on the train--headed to work.
Lately, I've been "confused" about the "wilderness" that I seem to be wandering/wondering through these days. Deep down I want to believe that I am "following Christ" and walking in step with the Holy Spirit--but most days, I'm just not sure about whether I am really "following" or just wishing that I were following Him as I ought.
Eighteen months ago I left a job that I had loved for more than six years. The pay was good (not great, but very good), the working conditions were good....after all I had worked there for more than 6 years....but the LORD was clearly wanting me to look "further" and walk in another direction....but why?
All I could discern was that I should go work in the medical field again (I had worked in a hospital during my seminary years, and then my first job after moving to Chicago in August 2000)...and to eventually pursue training in the "nursing" field. All the "signs" were indicating that I would be going back to school to become a Registered Nurse....
I knew it would take "awhile"--more than a few months---and I was (still am) willing to do this the "slow" (not my preferred) method. I wasn't counting on the "process" taking so long, but I am willing to "wait" if that's what it requires.
This morning, I clearly heard the LORD speaking to my heart to "put the nursing training on hold" because HE wants me to learn "contentment" and "obedience" and "submission." He has 'other plans' for me right now....and only HE knows what those plans entail.
I just know that HE has other plans for me. This is not really 'distressing'--but perhaps a bit confusing for me. I'm one of those people who likes a "clear plan" (with all the details in place) so I can begin "working the plan" and seeing some progress.
That is not always how the LORD chooses to do things in my life. I am learning and re-learning this all the time.