A Prayer for Today...

"Come Thou Fount of every blessing, TUNE my heart to sing THY GRACE..."

Lord, when I'm confused, and just wondering what I should do next: housework, homework, or just "stand still" please "tune my heart to sing Thy grace.."

Lord, for that precious friend who feels alone and abandoned...who feels that no one really cares, who hugged me tightly this morning, with tears falling down their face..."Tune my heart to sing Thy grace" and let their heart receive it. Keep reminding them, they are NOT alone. Their Moody Church family loves them, and more importantly, YOU love them.

Lord, for the single mom who feel as though she is about to lose her mind--burdens, bills, bruises, and yet she chooses to raise her children in the fear of the Lord..."tune my heart to sing Thy grace"...and put that same song on her lips. She is a "hero" and should be treated like one.

Lord, for that patient who just heard news they hoped to avoid--at least for a little while longer--and now I have the high and tremendous privilege/responsibility of being concerned..please "Tune my heart to sing Thy grace." My song may be the only one--or even the last one--they hear.

Lord, when I'm struggling through despondency, depression, and start asking "Why me?" please "tune my heart to sing Thy grace." Remind me, Dear Lord...that You still walk with me, and You tell me that I am still Your own. In case I haven't mentioned it, Lord, "tune my heart to sing Thy grace."

Lord, for that friend who is strugging with the "bottle," drinking to "drown their sorrows" but finding that nothing is solved, only exaccerbated...when I see him again, please "tune my heart to sing Thy grace." Lord, remind him that You love him, no matter what.

Lord, for that homeless lady who asks for some change every single morning--and when I purposely don't carry any change on me, create a heart of compassion in me...and "tune my heart to sing Thy grace." I could be homeless and hungry too....

And Lord, remind me regularly of how great it is to be "tuned to Thy grace."

Today God Is Faithful....what a year!

I say it almost every year (about this time), but I want to say it again: "What a year!" What a faithful, gracious, loving, wonderful God we have! Some of the "significant" times of 2011:

1) Worked at the hospital on New Year's Day. I volunteered for this day, because I'd rather work--get the holiday pay--than to hear coworkers whine about having to work...just give it to me.

2) TWENTY-THREE inches of snow on February 1st. The very first full day of Founder's Week at the Moody Bible Institute (here in Chicago) saw the 3rd largest blizzard in recorded Chicago history...it was breathtaking, awe-inspiring, and DEEP. That large shovel in my hall closet came in real handy....because we had 7-feet drifts against the front door of my apartment building at the time...

3) My 49th birthday was on a Sunday...and lots of friends were so kind to celebrate with me....wonderful food, deep fellowship, and I felt truly loved. The 50th is coming up....

4) I moved from my beloved Logan Square to East Rogers Park....I really didn't want to move, but due to the "downsizing" in my paycheck, I couldn't go any further in the hole than I already had fallen. (After all, I'm not the Federal Government...)...but the LORD provided a wonderful place. My friends, Joel and Janet Ristuccia moved from the apartment they were renting on a Thursday, and I moved in two days later--that Saturday. I'm grateful for good neighbors, a nice place to live, and for God's provision in my life.

5) My Grandmother Fields graduated to Heaven on May 17th...and thanks to the generosity of a precious friend, I was able to fly to Alabama, and be there for the viewing and funeral. This was also a treasured time of seeing friends--some I had not seen in 30 years or more....Granny is in glory....rejoicing, worshipping Jesus....and we'll see her again very soon.

6) On June 27th, I assumed a new position at Rush University Medical Center. I became a Clinic Coordinator 2 in the Rush University Medical Group Float Pool. I am still a full time employee, but now I work all over the Medical Group....and so far, so good. I have a wonderful supervisor, and work with some tremendous people....and I have my weekends free!

7) The Lord has brought some very special friends into my life...who have won a place in my heart very quickly...one is a high school teacher/football coach---and now a Second Lieutenant in the United States Marine Corp. So very proud of him...Brandon, you are a wonderful man, and tremendous friend.

8) Had the wonderful privilege--again thanks to the generosity of a precious friend--to attend the Homecoming Weekend festivities at my alma mater, Lee University in Cleveland TN. Had the glorious thrill of seeing so many people that I have loved for so long...and who have loved me through it all. I can't begin to say what this meant to me.

9) Worshipping regularly with my Moody Church family---the very center of my "universe" here in Chicago....and God has been so good.

I'm excited about 2012.

Heroes...

I was talking with a friend this morning--and I asked, "Who are your heroes in life?" I was disheartened to hear that my friend really has no "heroes." I'm more than happy to share some of mine.

Most of my heroes in life are teachers/professors and people in full-time ministry. These are the people who have most affected my life...and helped me to "walk forward" over the last almost 50 years (wow...I'm getting OLDer).

It has been those teachers/professors who "instructed me" in the ways of life, living, and learning. More than one teacher took this little "orphan boy" and helped him "learn"...I was always CRAZY about most of my teachers through my educational career...Some of these same people are still my dearest friends...I could never have survived without them.

The precious pastors in my life---what can I say about them? These people have shepherded my soul...made me part of the larger "family" in the local church....prayed for me when I was sick, applauded me when I did well, and encouraged me when I didn't do so well. These "people of God" have given me opportunities that I could never have dreamed of having otherwise...

My heroes.

Love Calls...

This past Saturday morning, I just felt like I needed to start "expressing" myself more....(and this would be a real shocker for some of you who think I already "express" myself wwwaaaaay too much as it is...)

But as I was sensing the nearness of the Lord Jesus, I felt that I needed to make some "love calls." The purpose of these calls is to tell some folks how much I love them and what they mean to me.

No agenda, no asking for anything---not even sharing prayer requests...Just telling some folks how they have enriched my life over the years...

I still have a bunch of people to call....what about you?

Confessions....yet another one...

I experienced the powerful presence of the LORD this morning....while I was sitting on the train--headed to work.

Lately, I've been "confused" about the "wilderness" that I seem to be wandering/wondering through these days. Deep down I want to believe that I am "following Christ" and walking in step with the Holy Spirit--but most days, I'm just not sure about whether I am really "following" or just wishing that I were following Him as I ought.

Eighteen months ago I left a job that I had loved for more than six years. The pay was good (not great, but very good), the working conditions were good....after all I had worked there for more than 6 years....but the LORD was clearly wanting me to look "further" and walk in another direction....but why?

All I could discern was that I should go work in the medical field again (I had worked in a hospital during my seminary years, and then my first job after moving to Chicago in August 2000)...and to eventually pursue training in the "nursing" field. All the "signs" were indicating that I would be going back to school to become a Registered Nurse....

I knew it would take "awhile"--more than a few months---and I was (still am) willing to do this the "slow" (not my preferred) method. I wasn't counting on the "process" taking so long, but I am willing to "wait" if that's what it requires.

This morning, I clearly heard the LORD speaking to my heart to "put the nursing training on hold" because HE wants me to learn "contentment" and "obedience" and "submission." He has 'other plans' for me right now....and only HE knows what those plans entail.

I just know that HE has other plans for me. This is not really 'distressing'--but perhaps a bit confusing for me. I'm one of those people who likes a "clear plan" (with all the details in place) so I can begin "working the plan" and seeing some progress.

That is not always how the LORD chooses to do things in my life. I am learning and re-learning this all the time.

21 Months ago, this very day...(October 26, 2009)

I was preparing for a radio interview with my friend Chris Fabry (www.chrisfabrylive.org), and then readying myself to fly to Birmingham, Alabama where I would spend the evening with my great friends, Dr Tim Stone and his wife Tammy.

The next morning (October 27, 2009), Tim and I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast at IHOP--my "last meal" according to "Dr Stone." (I still called him "friend" after such a negative announcement...LOL). I had to gently assert that I was "donating a kidney, not having my head lopped off.

That was 21 months ago today....wow, God has been so good--and how time flies!

"At my age?"

I will be fifty years old on March 13, 2012. (Honestly, I never thought I'd live to see the day, and I'm still not so sure of it...)

But now I'm becoming incredibly introspective...looking "back" to see all the things I missed along the journey thus far...glad that I missed some of them, and mourning my foolishness in overlooking others of "them." If I had it to do all over again...yeah, I know..."famous last words"--well, for somebody at least.

Having grown up without parents in the home (my paternal grandmother was my parent, since my folks divorced when I was very small), I have felt "abandoned" most of my life. I still feel that way sometimes...but nearly as much as I did in my "earlier" years. Looking back, I realize that God never abandoned me...even though I often wonder why He allowed some of the things that happened.

I often look back, wondering what my life would have been like (for the last 25+ years) if I had been more studious in college, my grades had been much better, and I had been more concerned with the "academics" than with all that "other stuff" I deemed to be so important at the time. My college years were a tremendous learning experience for me, in hindsight. I only wish I could re-do them now...

I often look back, wondering what it would have been like to pursue a romance, get engaged, and marry the "lady of my dreams." I won't be indicting anyone here--since the "world wide web" really is "world wide" and I don't need to be getting myself into "webs" from which I may never escape....so these "ladies" shall remain nameless....or at least "detail-less." (For the obsessively curious, there were THREE crushes, at various points in my life).

I look back and wonder what it would have been like to stay near all the biological kin--instead of moving away 30+ years ago, and only occasionally visiting. I do emphasize "occasionally"---about once every three years or so.

I do reflect on what "might have been"---realizing that "yesterday's gone" and wondering where those other "roads less traveled" (in my life, at least) would have led....

But now, that I'm nearly the "50" mark...all I can say is "the LORD is my Light and my Salvation..." With all the mis-steps, mistakes, and times of doubt/fear/rebellion, I know this much: God has been merciful and good.

So "at my age" I just have to look forward, knowing that the "best is yet to come." I have more friends in Heaven than I have on this planet Earth now, and all that "could have been" is in the Lord's hands. All that "might have been" is in His hands also. But more importantly, all that "will be" is also in His hands.

And "at my age" I rest in the fact (and the promise) that HE sees everything beforehand and nothing reaches His children that hasn't passed through the filter of His very love for us.

At my age, that's all I need to know.