I confess

Yes, I speak in tongues. So did the Apostle Paul.

But Billy Graham says that he never has. Does that make him "less Christian" than either the Apostle Paul or anyone else who has spoken in t ongues?

For some crazy reason, we Pentecostals have gotten this whole thing "mis-wired" when we judge one's spiritual maturity by whether they speak in tongues, or whether their local church endorses, practices or forbids speaking in tongues.

We are specifically told in 1 Corinthians 11-14 that we cannot judge the "spiritual maturity" of ANY believer--not to mention a LOCAL CHURCH--by whether they speak in tongues or not. Of course JAMES 3 tells us the result of "wagging" those long tongues--and what damage that can do. Maybe we should all read that chapter again.

The Baptism of the Holy Ghost promises "power for service"--not immediate/automatic spiritual maturity. Let me encourage everyone to listen to Pastor Tim Coalter's messages on "Handling Fire" at the Peerless Road Church website. Just click on sermons and download.

And for heaven's sake....let us CEASE judging our brothers and sisters in the LORD JESUS by whether they speak in tongues or not. God doesn't judge them that way or by that standard.

Why should we?

A friend from many years ago...

I first met David and Rita Baroni before they were ever "David and Rita Baroni"--well, before she was ever Rita Baroni. He's always been "David Baroni."

His website: www.davidbaroni.com is definitely a keeper, and one that you should visit often.

David is originally from Natchez, Mississippi while Rita hails from the Sheffield/Muscle Shoals, Alabama area. I've known them for more than 25 years now.

What a great couple! Their hearts have always been saturated with God's love, and their desire is to reach those who are far from God, and to also encourage and edify those who are Christ-followers.

I hope he reads this blog. Visit his website, visit the online store, and get some of his great music. You will be eternally glad that you did.

What makes a church "Pentecostal"?


Bishop Timothy D Coalter, Senior Pastor of the Peerless Road Church in Cleveland, TN addresses this question profoundly, and biblically in his series "Handling Fire."

You can hear this marvelous series on the link posted.

Pastor Coalter has been a friend of mine for many years. He has been a shepherd of God's people for many, many years. He and his wife Kelli, are shepherding a congregation where I was a member for more than sixteen years.

Listen to the series, and then contact Pastor Coalter. He'll be delighted to hear from you.

What We Believe

Even though I am a Pentecostal Christ-follower, I am a regular worshipper among the saints of The Moody Church here in Chicago. The church website is www.moodychurch.org

Beginning on September 10th , Senior Pastor Erwin W Lutzer will begin a series entitled "What We Believe." Here are the sermon topics that will be addressed:

The Book We Trust
The Father We Worship
The Son We Follow
The Spirit We Embrace
The Sin We Rationalize
The Gospel We Proclaim
The Angels We Appreciate
The Devil We Abhor
The Church We Love
The Future We Anticipate.

I want to heartily encourage and invite everyone to tune in to The Moody Church website, and to hear our shepherd expound the truths of God's Word concerning these vital issues of life.

And if you are in Chicago on any given Sunday, The Moody Church is located at 1609 N LaSalle Street...or you can find us better at the junction of North Avenue, Clark Street, and N LaSalle Street. We are right across from the Chicago Historical Society.

We would love to have you worship our Lord with us!

Simplify and Return...

For those of you who have been frequenting my little place here in the "blogosphere" you will know that I became a home owner last summer. It was quite an ordeal. This is the first time I've ever bought a home, and I felt that I had accomplished "something" as an adult.

It's a two-bedroom condominium, new rehab, and it's nice. I've enjoyed just about every minute that I've lived there.

But as I awoke this morning, I sense the Holy Spirit of God speaking to my soul, and telling me to get ready to "simplify." I want to "return" to the time when I lived far more simply and wasn't so much in bondage to "things."

Quite honestly, I feel "in over my head" financially. I can afford the mortgage payments. But what I can't afford is to be a generous with others, and giving to the work of the Lord.

Being able to give to God's purposes, in my opinion, is far more important than owning my own home. I want to be able to not only tithe, but to give beyond the tithe--since it all belongs to God anyway.

So please help me pray for God's wisdom and direction, as I prepare to sell this place for which I now owe a considerable amount of money.

I want the financial freedom to give more generously than I've ever given before. I simply cannot do that with all the expenses that go with owning a condominium--even though it's a modest one.

God knows my heart. I need to know it too.

When Dreams Die Fast...

I woke up with this title on my mind this morning....and I'm still wondering how the Holy Spirit wants to speak to my heart/mind--and how I should share it..

Here goes:

Deep within each human being, the Creator puts a dream. Every child, from the time they are able to "reason" and "figure things out" starts to dream. Many times, these little people dream of being "whatever Mom or Dad is..."

That might be a nurse, a doctor, a teacher, a farmer, a banker, or any number of other things....the "what do I want to be when I grow up" syndrome is now beginning to germinate in their young mind.

These dreams/hopes/plans may change fast....and often. I wanted to be a schoolteacher after I entered the fourth grade. My 4th grade teacher, Linda Turner (still a very close, personal friend some 30+ years later) inspired me to want to teach...to profoundly affect the lives of others just like she impacted mine.

Some aspire to fame, fortune, fashion, and sadly enough...futility.

I remember in the Old Testament (Genesis, actually) where God gave a young man named Joseph a dream.......and Joseph, even in the midst of all his shortcomings, and lack of diplomatic skills with his own family...dared to believe God's promise to him.

That dream...that very dream, helped land Joseph into slavery, prison, famine, and eventually to the leadership of the nation for the most part. But, Joseph remembered what God had promised him.

Look at all he had to overcome:

1) Brothers who despised him and wanted to see him dead...but didn't have enough ________ to actually kill him. So they sold him to the first bidders.

2) A lusting woman who obviously wasn't getting enough attention to satisfy her overactive libido (Potiphar's wife), who tried to seduce him....and he had to run for his life!

3) A prison sentence that he did not deserve...with two jailmates who weren't always good at keeping their word to him once "they tasted freedom" again. One eventually did, though.

4) Those same brothers coming to the Pharaoh's courts to beg for food...and mercy....

So, where has the "dream died" for you? What caused it to die? How can it be revived?

What dream did GOD place in your heart that still remains unfulfilled? What can you do to "accomplish this dream"?

I can think of so many that I felt the Lord placed in me...and for some reason I never took those steps to fulfill them....I never cooperated with God--or trusted His wisdom enough to endure all that might happen.

Sorta bad case of the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" syndrome..

Let's talk about it.

What about "your dreams"?
I wrote this devotional for a men's group more than three years ago. I feel the Lord wants me to share it here.


Happy Birthday, Doyle Daugherty!

Doyle Daugherty, a great minister, pastor, servant of the Lord is celebrating his birthday today. Even though I'm not sure of his exact age, I do want to say "Happy Birthday" to him.

God bless you Doyle, as you labor for Christ and His call in your life.

A Truly Great Church!


The Church of God of Prophecy with it's international headquarters in Cleveland, Tennessee was my home denomination for many, many years. This great section of the Body of Christ is holding it's 94th General Assembly in Nashville, Tennessee this week.

You can go to the website, and click all the way through and hear the great meeting LIVE on the Internet.

Bishop Fred S Fisher Sr, the outgoing General Overseer is moderating this wonderful meeting. I've known Bishop Fisher, his wife Betty, and their two children ever since I was a snotty-nosed teenager running around in Huntsville, Alabama. These people are precious, precious saints of God.

Bishop Randy Howard, the General Overseer-select, has been a friend for many years as well. His brother-in-law, Willie Stoup, was a friend and colleague during our college years in the early 1980s. I last saw Willie in January, 1997.

Please pray for this great denomination.

Spirit-Driven People....

The Scriptures are full of passages telling and describing how the Holy Spirit directed the people of God--both in the Old and New Testaments. We need only read them, and discover that God has always been active throughout human history. He has not been dormant.

Of particular interest to me, has been the records of the New Testament detailing how the Third Person of the Godhead led, directed, instructed, restrained, and prompted God's people to do God's bidding.

I grew up hearing these great stories of God's active leading of His people. I've come to expect it in everyday life. I've come to expect it in the life of any local gathering of Christ-followers. That's just the way it should be--at least that's my understanding of the Scriptures.

So, now I must ask, "What does it mean to be 'Spirit-driven'"? How do we know when the Holy Spirit is "leading us?" How do we discern His voice? How do we know which "promises" to claim as ours?

One of my first answers would be: When Christ is glorified--we know it is the Holy Spirit directing and drawing us. When the gospel is being presented in the spirit and grace of Jesus Christ--we know it is the Holy Spirit directing and drawing us. When men, women, boys and girls are convinced and convicted of their sins and drawn to repentance--we know it is the Holy Spirit directing and drawing us. When we are drawn to deep, passionate praying, communing with Christ, and enriching our fellowship with Him and others--we can be sure we are being "Spirit driven."

When we long for the precious and majestic voice of the Lord in our lives, hearing Him in our heads and our hearts, and we know that "no other voice" will suffice--we can be sure that we are being "Spirit Driven."

When we long for God's power and presence to be manifested in a transformational way: people to be healed, the blind to see, the captives to be set free, and the oppressed to be delivered--just as Jesus promised in the Gospels, we can be sure that we are Spirit Driven.

So what "spirit" is driving you today?

10 Years Ago

Actually ten years ago on Monday (two days ago), I left a world that I loved, and benefited from to re-enter a world that I would again learn to love and from which I would grow, benefit, and deepen.

I left the United States Air Force on August 20, 1996, and returned to Cleveland, TN--where I had left some ten years earlier to enter the military.

I was very fortunate to have traveled in 34 countries on 4 continents and served in many capacities. I was stationed at:

Lackland AFB, Texas
Presidio Of Monterey, California
Lowery AFB, Colorado
Beale AFB, California
Kunsan Air Base, South Korea
AFNORTH (Allied Forces Northern Europe), Oslo Norway
Reese AFB, Texas.

I met some wonderful people in every place. These great and gracious folk loved me, cared for me, and was the face of Christ to me in ways that thousands of words cannot explain.

In every place I found a loving church family--and many who would take me in as "family."

Since that time, I have returned to Cleveland to work on the seminary degree. I have moved to Chicago--six years ago this week--and now I am engaged in productive, fulfilling work.

It's been a great ten years.

In Defense of Travis...

My friend in Florida, Pastor Travis Johnson http://lifepointe.typepad.com/travisjohnson/ and his lovely wife, Kelly are having an interesting debate/battle/war/intense fellowship--whatever we would want to call it. You can read all about it.

Anywho, someone has posted these "Guys' Rules" that I think are just great. Here they are for your viewing pleasure:

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be..

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Priceless...and now you probably have guessed that I'm not married.

Send her back...

The "top story" in Chicago right now is that an illegal immigrant (Elvira Arellano) from Mexico is "holed up" in a United Methodist Church on the city's near West side neighborhood of Humboldt Park.

Elvira has been in this country for at least nine years. She was arrested in 2002 for using a fake Social Security Number, and fake Immigration documents to gain employment at O'Hare Airport.

She is a single mom, with a seven year old son who has had a history of ADHD and other related health problems. He was born in the United States, thus having U S citizenship, unfortunately.

She had the audacity to have a news conference this morning, and make this statement:

"I am a single mom. I am not a terrorist. I am not a criminal. I am a mom."

She was ordered to report to the Department of Homeland Security yesterday for deportation back to Mexico. The INS has now declared Ms Arellano a "federal fugitive" and have vowed to arrest her.

This is as it should be. She is a criminal, by virtue of the fact that she has broken the laws of the United States, and continues to break them.

The authorities of this nation should go into the church in Humboldt Park, take this lady into custody, and put her on the next flight into Mexico. I do not want to be "heartless"--but send her son with her.

We must do something about the illegal immigration fiasco in this country.

I can HARDLY wait...

September 12th is just around the corner, and it will be "the day" for me! Okay, I'm vain enough to absolutely LOVE Dancing with the Stars on ABC. The last season was just spectacular. Here's the story from the Chicago Suntimes and I can hardly wait:

More celebs put on their 'Dancing' shoes
August 15, 2006
BY DAREL JEVENS Staff Reporter

We know Tucker Carlson can spin the words of a politician, and Emmitt Smith can shuffle past a blocker, and Jerry Springer can hustle a two-timing cross-dresser.

But can they dance?

America will find out next month when they join eight other B- and C-listers on the new season of "Dancing With the Stars," the hit ABC competition that pairs ballroom pros with uncertain celebs.

Testing their twinkle-toes during the third season, starting Sept. 12 on WLS-Channel 7, will be:

Jerry Springer: Chicago-based host of the notorious daytime talk show keeping the world apprised of lowbrow behavior.

Mario Lopez: Former star of "Saved by the Bell" and "The Bold and the Beautiful."

Emmitt Smith: The Dallas Cowboys great who holds the NFL's all-time rushing record.

Willa Ford: A flash-in-the-pan pop princess and former Playboy model.

Vivica A. Fox: An actress seen in "Kill Bill" and "Independence Day."

Harry Hamlin: The "L.A. Law" actor married to last spring's "Dancing With the Stars"
competitor Lisa Rinna.

Sara Evans: A country singer known for the hits "Suds in the Bucket" and "A Real Fine Place to Start."

Joe Lawrence: Back when he was "Joey," a teen heartthrob and co-star of "Blossom."

Monique Coleman: An actress from the Disney Channel sensation "High School Musical."

Tucker Carlson: The conservative journalist and pundit, formerly of CNN, now on MSNBC.

Shanna Moakler: Star of MTV's "Meet the Barkers," chronicling her doomed marriage to rocker Travis Barker.

Just called a lady who is very special to me, and she said that "Sara Evans is fabulous!"

Never heard her, or her music, but I'll be anxiously awaiting her "dancing" debut.

I've been having "DWTTS" withdrawals all summer, so now I can get my "fix."

I got tagged!

Kevin Bussey tagged me, so here's my list:

1. One book that changed your life: Handle with Prayer, Charles Stanley

2. One book that you’ve read more than once,Other than the Bible: The Knowledge of the Holy by A W Tozer

3. One book I’d want on a desert island, Other than the Bible: Worship His Majesty by Jack Hayford

4. One book that made me laugh: Big Russ and Me by Tim Russert

5. One book that made me cry: Beyond Betrayal by Carolyn Koons

6. One bookthat you wish you had written: Cure for the Common Life by Max Lucado

7. One book you wish had never been written: The Book of Mormon

8. One book that you are currently reading: The Spirit and the Mind (Terry Cross, Emerson Powery, Editors)

9. One book that you’ve been meaning to read: Just as I Am by Billy Graham

So now, I am tagging EVERYONE who reads my blog. That's right all of you.

What would be your answers to these same questions?

Go for it!

48 Hours with....

If you could spend 48 hours, and only 48 hours with any person in the New Testament (Christ excluded, of course--we would all want to spend time with HIM), who would it be?

Why? What would be your motivation for spending 48 hours with that person?

I would want to spend 48 hours with Barnabas--the fellow who traveled with the Apostle Paul.

But his relationship with Paul began long before that. He was the one who helped introduce Paul into the "believing community" after his Damascus Road encounter with the Lord Jesus.

Barnabas is known as the "Son of Consolation" or the "Son of Encouragement."

I would want to know how he "pulled people together"--when they were ready to pull each other apart.

So, how would you like to spend 48 hours with?


I remember

When my good friend Rick Polachek, who at the time was a KC-135 Navigator at Beale Air Force Base, California, and I were having lunch one day. We were talking about serving people, serving God, and just what the Lord was doing in our lives, and in our careers. Rick said the most profound thing to me, and I've remembered it now almost twenty years later:

"Every Christian wants to be a servant. But no Christian wants to be treated like one."

I can't remember when I've heard more truth spoken in such a succint, compact, and powerful manner.

And in those many years since that conversation, I've been reminded of Rick's prophetic words in a multitude of ways.

I've remembered those words when I've seen church staff abused, mistreated, and underpaid--all in the name of "ministry."

I've remembered those words when I've seen volunteers give up lots of their "free time"--Non-paid time, that is--to perform functions that no paid staff would do, and then be regarded as the "servant" and treated as though their personal dignity was of little or no consequence.

I've remembered those times when I ask people to assist in some project of one kind or another. The Lord continually reminds me these people are "His sheep", and not my personal property. They may be "my friends" but they are ultimately HIS SHEEP. I do well not to ever forget that fact.

I strongly and firmly believe in "leadership." But when it comes to the community of faith, I more strongly believe in "shepherding" and "caring" and "tending" to God's flock--because that is what Christ has called all of us to do.

CEO models are great in the "corporate world." These are also necessary in the "corporate world". But when have we been "released" by the Lord to employ the "corporate world" strategies in the functioning of His church?

Something to think about.

Pastor Byron D Morrell: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

My great friend, Pastor Byron D Morrell, had a birthday on Saturday, August 5th. He and I are now the same age, except that I have almost five months on him.

Byron and I have quite a history. We became friends twenty-six years ago this month. We met as freshmen in college in Cleveland, Tennessee in August 1980. He's a native South Carolinian--and a die-hard Clemson Tigers fan.

Or at least he used to be. Not sure if he even watches sports anymore now. He's a busy husband, father, employee, and shepherd.

I did call him Sunday morning and wish him a belated Happy Birthday. He's a precious, precious brother in so many ways.

His wife Cindy, his two sons Zach and Zeke, and his parents Melvin and Lucille helped him celebrate yesterday. I'm hoping his two brothers and sister (and their families) were there also.

I've not seen Byron in six years now. The last time we were together, he was spending the night at my apartment while he was finishing his Masters degree at the Church of God Theological Seminary in Cleveland. I'm an alum of that school also.

Byron is a special man. He has served as pastor in two states: South Carolina and Oregon. He has served as an Evangelist (just about everywhere), and he served as the State Youth Director for the Church of God of Prophecy in Alabama.

I could say so much more, but I've already said more than he wanted me to.


At least you still have your hair.

Well, most of it.

Tacky Questions....

The tackiest question that I think I've ever been asked is:

Well, Phil, why aren't you married yet? My Grandmother Fields (whom I love dearly) has always been the chief offender, until I put the Kabosh on it a few years ago.

This question is SO tacky that I've come up with several brilliant (well, at least to me, they are) responses to those insensitive--well maybe that's a bit strong--those people who insist on asking the question anyway:

1) I'm college educated, employed, a good cook, a good musician, a good author, and I intimidate every girl I'm around.

2) Well, friend, have you been praying for God to send me a life partner? OOH, why not?

3) I have traveled the world in the last 20 years, and no woman likes jet-lag.

4) Well, it's not been very important to me, so why is it that important to you?

5) You would actually want the possibility of having more people like ME here on this earth?

6) I've not found the right one: the right bank account, the right career lady, and the right retirement location that SHE can afford for me.

And my all time favorite:

I'm too cold to hold, and too hot to handle....

So, there you have it.

So why should I be married any time soon?

What say ye?

Getting it "right"...or can we?

It seems like there are as many opinions about the "crucial issues" of life as there are people "living" life. For instance, this morning there was this raging debate on Good Morning America about "raising the minimum wage."

On one side of the aisle, the supposed experts say that "raising the minimum wage" will eliminate jobs in the economy. If that were true, then we would have no United States Senate--their salaries have been increased eight times in the last ten years. Or was it nine?

And those ladies and gentlemen still have jobs. Actually, it is WE taxpayers who are funding their positions--whether we like their performance or not. We have ZERO influence as to whether those salaries are raised or not. But we are still the ones who are paying them.

On the other side--since I want to be fair--there are those people who are rightly arguing that full time workers in this nation--the richest nation on earth--should be paid a fair and just wage, so they can support their families without having to go on the "government dole."

This time, I agree with this side. If employers in this nation--all of them--paid their employees a just and equitable wage, I honestly believe we would see far greater productivity, nationwide. I also believe we would see costs for healthcare stabilize, if not decrease. I believe we would see child abuse, alcoholism, and some of the other prevalent ills either subside or decrease.

Now, not every social ill is tied to "money." But many of them are.

I have the best-paying job now that I've ever had. I make in the high 30s...and nothing to be ashamed of. I love my job. But I also remember when I could barely pay the bills, had no healthcare and was working 40+ hours a week for less than the current minimum wage.

I'm a military veteran, honorably discharged after ten stellar years of service. I'm college educated, and have alot of good experience--but I was pretty much stuck in a dead end job, while working on the graduate degree.

Not everyone is as fortunate as I am. But I do remember these words from James Chapter 5:

Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries that are coming upon you!
Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth-eaten.
Your gold and silver are corroded, and their corrosion will be a witness against you and will eat your flesh like fire. You have heaped up treasure in the last days.
Indeed the wages of the laborers who mowed your fields, which you kept back by fraud, cry out; and the cries of the reapers have reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth.
You have lived on the earth in pleasure and luxury; you have fattened your hearts as in a day of slaughter.
You have condemned, you have murdered the just; he does not resist you.

I keep hearing the "well, people will lose their jobs, and no jobs will be created if we raise the minimum wage."

Not for a moment do I believe that nonsense. Yes, the markets do need the freedom to make adjustments, but more importantly working people need to be treated fairly and justly. Those same working people should be able to depend on just and equitable treatment from those employing them.

Unless of course we want another ENRON.

But then again Ken Lay is now departed this life.

Look what he left behind.

One very interesting discussion..last night...

My roommate (Joshua) leads a small-group Bible study on Tuesday evenings. He always comes in late, and I'm almost always in bed asleep when he arrives.

This morning, he was telling me about part of the discussion last night, after the study. Some of the girls in the groups were whining about "relationships"...and particularly how "men" just aren't "leaders"--and if they were, that women would be falling all over them.

And I very kindly and candidly reminded Josh that these "know-it-all" chicks are about 99% wrong in their assumptions, accusations and evaluations of single men.

Of course, I've heard it all before:

"We just want you men to be 'leaders'".....and?

So my question would be, "Hey sister, where do you want us to lead you?"

"We just want you to be spiritual leaders in all the relationships..."

Oh, is that so? Or is the truth that you want us to "be just like" your dad, your uncle, your favorite pastor, or someone else whom you idolize?

I've got a question or two for these "inquiring" women who want men to be "leaders":

First, how can you (an imperfect, fallible human being) expect flawless infallibility out of anyone and particularly out of a single man? You have your "issues" and yet you want us to "lead you" somewhere that you probably aren't willing to go?

Second, how happy are you with yourself and your other "non-male" relationships? Are you expecting a "relationship" with a man to satisfy every longing in your heart?

Finally, how realistic are your expectations in any relationship? If one man had the riches of Donald Trump, the spiritual walk of Billy Graham, the looks of Tom Cruise, the intelligence of Einstein, and the romantic ability of Cary Grant---would you be satisfied?

Of course, we all know the answers to those questions.

So, yes, as a single man I am concerned about the quality of all my relationships. But I also realize that God doesn't not want me to "find the right person" as much as He wants me to "be the right person."

And there is a difference. A very strong difference.