I have two "dreams" in my life...and sometimes, I am near tears wondering if these things will ever come to pass..again.
First, I love to sing. Nothing stirs my soul, and causes me to praise God like good singing. I've been privileged to sing all over the world...and I thank both the Lord and the United States Air Force (in that exact order) for giving me that privilege. I am fully convinced the Lord can use the words and music to good singing to powerfully reach someone's heart...because He has done that just for me. As one great gospel song from my childhood says, 'I was there when it happened and I guess I ought to know.' My absolute favorite devotional/worship tool is my worn-out Nazarene hymnal that someone gave me about 22 years ago when I was worshipping at Denver First Church. That hymnal goes just about everywhere with me.
Second, I love to encourage people through preaching and teaching. I've not done nearly enough of that for a very, very long time. Somehow, I got sidetracked...or more accurately, "off track" with these things, and have never 'found my way' back to using these desires and gifts. I love to see the transformation that God works in someone's thinking and life through the power of His Spirit and His Word.
If I had the opportunity to go into full-time "Christian ministry" right now, I'd go...without a second thought. But, alas, now I want to make sure the Lord Himself has opened the door...and sometimes while we wait for the "assurance" of open doors, we miss the door altogether.
I'll confess more later....I promise.