Here's some "gems" that I want to offer to my "vast readership"...LOL
1) It would be nice to have taxation without misrepresentation.
2) You can't spend yourself rich any more than you can "drink" yourself sober.
3) Summer is when kids slam the doors they left open all winter.
4) It's amazing how many things people turn on and off during the day--including other people.
5) He who gives in when he is wrong is wise. He who gives in when he is right is married.
6) Stickability is 95 percent of ability.
7) There aren't enough crutches in the world for all the lame excuses.
8) Dollars and sense do not always travel together.
9) The average man has probably thought twice about runing away from home: Once as a child, and the once as a husband.
10) " The gum-chewing student and the cud-chewing cow
Look quite alike, but they're different somehow.
What is the difference? I see it all now--
It's the intelligent look on the face of the cow!"
11) Ever notice how many people are "mistaken" at the top of their voice?
12) Poise is looking like an owl after behaving like a jackass.
13) If you can't stand solitude, then you probably bore others too!
14) A prune is a plum that has seen better days!
15) Middle age is when you begin to exchange emotions for symptoms!
16) Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side-effects.
17) A good sermon is one that goes over your head on Sunday--and then hits your neighbor!
18) The reason the Ten Commandments are "short and sweet" is that they were handed down "direct" and not through several committees.
19) If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
20) It doesn't make you an angel to be "always in the air" and "harping on something."