Cancer Victim or Victor: Janet's Update

A few weeks back, I posted a link to my friend Janet Paschal's website/newsletter, where she told all of us that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. I also asked everyone to pray for her. Here's her latest newsletter, and she sounds in good spirits:
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Hey Everybody,
It's early, early Sunday morning; John and Max are asleep, as is most everyone except newspaper carriers and the first shift at Krispy Kreme . I've been lying awake identifying the sounds of 4am, like the baby birds in the gutter and the footsteps of the deer who've just topped off my hostas - again. I've also been thinking it was a good time for me to update you on all the 'stuff' going on.

I had my first chemo treatment almost three weeks ago. Having no idea what to expect, I was wide-eyed from the minute we parked in the garage. I had visions of wires and tubes and heavy equipment and torturers with masks, only to find that the treatment room was lined with recliners and staffed with soft-spoken, genteel nurses. The process was simple - an IV in the arm, a sedative, and the little red vial of the potent stuff. During the process they showed me a video of possible side effects, helpful hints, etc., during which I fell asleep (John said they could have saved the sedative and just started with the movie, as I tend to sleep through movies.)

That day and the next were not bad; in fact, I'd begun to think that chemo had been getting a bad rap - what was the big deal?

THEN days 3-5 happened, and I felt like I'd been hit by a tour bus! I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say that I began to consider the consequences if I just didn't take it anymore. Days 6-7 were better, and the next week I actually felt very normal, but fatigued. This week, I've felt as good as I've ever felt in my life. It's just as my oncologist said, one bad week, two good weeks; those are odds I can live with.

My next chemo treatment is this Wednesday (2 of 4) so I'll be halfway finished at that point. Following the chemo is lumpectomy, then radiation - oh yes, I signed on for the smorgasbord - a little taste of everything. Everyone says the chemo is the hardest part, so it should be downhill from there - at least that's what I'll be telling myself on days 3-5.

Remember I told you that my friend said this process would show you who you are, as the layers are peeled away and the deepest core of yourself is exposed? I didn't quite understand what he meant at the time, but I think I am learning. During the early days of tests, fear, shock, etc., I felt as though I was watching from a distance, scrutinizing someone else's faith, watching for fractures or weak spots. I really did not know how I would react. I fully expected to go through a gamut of emotions which included 'Why me? Why now? Is this fair?' and I can honestly (and happily) say that I have never felt any inclination toward those questions at all.

Statistically, our family was due (1 woman in 7 this year) and I am, in fact, grateful to be plowing through this in lieu of my mother or my sister. Not only has my faith not been shaken, but it has not been tapped, or analyzed, or called into question to any degree.. I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THAT. It must be that the Lord gives extra grace, just as others have said. It has reminded me so often of my grandmother who stood in the face of her worried family and dared them to doubt the Lord's sovereignty.

Frederick Buechner wrote of his own grandmother whom he likened to the large rocks near the shoreline; weathered and battered, but unmoved and unshaken. I continue to see the Lord's hand in every little detail. I'm beginning to think He especially likes details. I'm amazed at the way He prepares us, the people He brings to us, the day-to-day 'ordinaries' He orchestrates. I am inundated with cards, books, flowers, notes, email - all of which are in plain view from where I am now sitting.

How blessed can you get?

One more thing - I am getting to your emails, except for some 1400 I accidentally deleted (oh yes, chemo has an adverse effect on one's technological reserves). Thanks for your patience.I am so grateful for you - and can't wait to tell you all in person.

Won't THAT be fun!

Love,

Janet
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Please keep this precious woman in your prayers. Her ministry has reached around the world, magnified our Lord Jesus Christ, and encouraged hearts in places where only God knows all the details.

His name be praised!

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