Dr. Michael J. Easley has announced his resignation from the Presidency of Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, Ill., effective June 30, 2008.
“After much thought, prayer, and consultation, I have asked the Board of Trustees of the Moody Bible Institute to relieve me of my duties as President so that I may devote more time and energy seeking medical treatment for my back,” said Dr. Easley in a letter to employees and staff. “Surgery has already once interrupted my tenure for several weeks, and unfortunately it has become clear that more treatment is required. I have come to the difficult conclusion that under the circumstances I cannot be as effective a President as the Institute deserves.”
At a meeting on May 16, the Moody Board of Trustees reluctantly accepted Dr. Easley’s resignation. At the Board’s request, Dr. Easley has agreed to serve as President Emeritus through the 2009 school year as they search for a new president.
“On behalf of the Moody Board of Trustees, we are disappointed to lose Dr. Easley, and we owe him a huge debt of gratitude for his agreeing to stay with us in this new role while we seek his replacement,” said Jerry Jenkins, Chairman of the Board. “He is a man of unique gifts who has hugely benefited the ministry here.”
In November 2007, Dr. Easley took a medical leave of absence to have surgery on his back. Since that time, it has been difficult for him to travel and engage as effectively as he would like.
The Board of Trustees will immediately begin the search for a new president.
In the interim, Ed Cannon, Chief Operating Officer, will assume responsibility for the business affairs of the Office of the President, and Dr. Charles Dyer, Provost and Dean of Education, will assume responsibility for the spiritual leadership and doctrinal integrity of the Institute.
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Please pray for Dr Mike and his family. He has had serious health problems for the last several months. Please pray for the Board of Trustees at Moody Bible Institute as they seek someone to fill the office of MBI's President.
My Precious Grandmother...
My wonderful paternal grandmother, Clara Elizabeth Hoover, made that final journey to Heaven sixteen years ago today! She was 91 years old, when we all said "goodbye" to her. Even though I didn't have the opportunity to actually witness the "event"--there was no doubt that she ended her "final journey" from the confines of her hospital bed in Huntsville, Alabama to that glorious city Whose Builder and Maker is God.
What a precious, precious promise that has been for me, over the years. Even though Alzheimers' disease stole her mind, and her activity...God Himself claimed her heart and her spirit for His very own abode in glory.
This wonderful lady raised me, and cared for me when no one else wanted me. Had it not been for her huge heart, and her great love for me, I'm not sure I would have ever lived.
It's just too much to put into words right now, but I feel like I'm the luckiest man alive.
"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints"...and over time this "death" has become more precious than I could have ever imagined. And it continues to be precious to me.
What a precious, precious promise that has been for me, over the years. Even though Alzheimers' disease stole her mind, and her activity...God Himself claimed her heart and her spirit for His very own abode in glory.
This wonderful lady raised me, and cared for me when no one else wanted me. Had it not been for her huge heart, and her great love for me, I'm not sure I would have ever lived.
It's just too much to put into words right now, but I feel like I'm the luckiest man alive.
"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints"...and over time this "death" has become more precious than I could have ever imagined. And it continues to be precious to me.
Maria Chapman...goes to Heaven!
Maria Chapman, five-year old daughter of contemporary Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife MaryBeth, was tragically killed in an accident on Wednesday afternoon, near their home in Franklin, Tennessee.
This horrible accident claimed the life of their precious daughter (one of three adopted from the People's Republic of China), after their oldest son wasn't aware of her in the driveway.
All efforts were made to save her life, and she was eventually airlifted to the Children's ward of Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
Chris Fabry Live! did a special program today, asking and addressing the question of "What now?" when such tragedies occur.
Chapman's music has always ministered to me in powerful ways. I first heard him sing more than 20 years ago, when I was stationed in the United States Air Force at Beale AFB, California. On my last Sunday in the Base Chapel there, I sang one of his signature songs. These words are even more true today, in light of this horrific tragedy:
As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
CHORUS:
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
TAG:
And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.
For those of you who read my blog, I have one very simple request:
Please take a few moments, bow your heads, and ask God to be near Steven, MaryBeth, and their families tonite. This Faithful Redeemer will hear and answer your prayers.
Of this, I am sure.
This horrible accident claimed the life of their precious daughter (one of three adopted from the People's Republic of China), after their oldest son wasn't aware of her in the driveway.
All efforts were made to save her life, and she was eventually airlifted to the Children's ward of Vanderbilt University Medical Center.
Chris Fabry Live! did a special program today, asking and addressing the question of "What now?" when such tragedies occur.
Chapman's music has always ministered to me in powerful ways. I first heard him sing more than 20 years ago, when I was stationed in the United States Air Force at Beale AFB, California. On my last Sunday in the Base Chapel there, I sang one of his signature songs. These words are even more true today, in light of this horrific tragedy:
As I look back on the road I've travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
CHORUS:
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
My heart rejoices when I read the promise
'There is a place I am preparing for you.'
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face,
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true.
My Redeemer is faithful and true.
TAG:
And in every situation He has proved His love to me;
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.
For those of you who read my blog, I have one very simple request:
Please take a few moments, bow your heads, and ask God to be near Steven, MaryBeth, and their families tonite. This Faithful Redeemer will hear and answer your prayers.
Of this, I am sure.
Confessions: "These inward struggles"...
It seems as though the things that I want to "deny" are the ones that have caused me the greatest struggle in the last few days..weeks, months...okay: YEARS!
1) Not having a biological father in my life--especially when I most needed him.
2) Not being in "full-time ministry" as some folks would label it--even though I believe that God has me where He can best use me right now.
3) Dealing with the heartache and heartbreaks of relationships (none of them romantic in nature) that meant the world to me. Now, those same "relationships" are non-existent. Not sure as to what I could have done to "maintain them."
4) Dealing with the disappointment/heartbreak of people whom I admired who "let me down" and did it in a "big way." These are almost too numerous to mention. These have included spiritual leaders, mentors, and others to whom I looked for counsel and fellowship.
5) Dealing with my own emotional battles, my own purity battles, and my "insecurity" battles..and everyone has them. Someone recently ask, "Do you have any insecurities?" I immediately answered, "Absolutely. We all do...it just depends on what we are insecure about..." So, I am convinced that we all have our "insecurities." And sometimes those insecurities can get us in ALOT of trouble.
As the Apostle Paul called his troubles, "these light afflictions." I don't want to live in "denial"...but I don't want to let my "light afflictions" control my life either.
Can anyone out there relate?
1) Not having a biological father in my life--especially when I most needed him.
2) Not being in "full-time ministry" as some folks would label it--even though I believe that God has me where He can best use me right now.
3) Dealing with the heartache and heartbreaks of relationships (none of them romantic in nature) that meant the world to me. Now, those same "relationships" are non-existent. Not sure as to what I could have done to "maintain them."
4) Dealing with the disappointment/heartbreak of people whom I admired who "let me down" and did it in a "big way." These are almost too numerous to mention. These have included spiritual leaders, mentors, and others to whom I looked for counsel and fellowship.
5) Dealing with my own emotional battles, my own purity battles, and my "insecurity" battles..and everyone has them. Someone recently ask, "Do you have any insecurities?" I immediately answered, "Absolutely. We all do...it just depends on what we are insecure about..." So, I am convinced that we all have our "insecurities." And sometimes those insecurities can get us in ALOT of trouble.
As the Apostle Paul called his troubles, "these light afflictions." I don't want to live in "denial"...but I don't want to let my "light afflictions" control my life either.
Can anyone out there relate?
Senator and Mrs Obama: "Get a Grip!"
On today's Good Morning, America interview, Senator Obama was attempting chivalry. He told ABC's Robin Roberts that the Tennessee GOP should "lay off his wife" for some "out of season" comments that she made several weeks/months ago. Her exact quote was something to the effect of "For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country...." And since I claimed it to be "exact"...I'm hoping that I quoted it "exactly."
I do claim "blogger's license" with that quote.
However, Illinois' junior senator is seeking the highest political office in these United States. He is also seeking to fill the most powerful political office on the planet.
If he and his wife can't handle this type of criticism and scrutiny, then maybe he is not ready for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. While I don't agree with all of the "smear tactics" that have been used against him--and those have been well-rehearsed all over the internet (and elsewhere)--he had better get accustomed to it.
In other words, Senator Obama (and Michelle), GET A GRIP!
You have people who will do everything in their power (legally, and perhaps otherwise) to make sure that you are smeared, smudged, and polluted. You've already encountered some of it. Some of it has been very unfair...and some of it, you possibly brought on yourself.
Every word counts. Your every word will be weighed, scrutinized, re-scrutinized, calibrated, re-calibrated, hashed, dissected, analyzed, diagrammed, and microscoped.
So, Senator, as I said before, "Get a grip." With both hands.
You will certainly need one.
I do claim "blogger's license" with that quote.
However, Illinois' junior senator is seeking the highest political office in these United States. He is also seeking to fill the most powerful political office on the planet.
If he and his wife can't handle this type of criticism and scrutiny, then maybe he is not ready for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. While I don't agree with all of the "smear tactics" that have been used against him--and those have been well-rehearsed all over the internet (and elsewhere)--he had better get accustomed to it.
In other words, Senator Obama (and Michelle), GET A GRIP!
You have people who will do everything in their power (legally, and perhaps otherwise) to make sure that you are smeared, smudged, and polluted. You've already encountered some of it. Some of it has been very unfair...and some of it, you possibly brought on yourself.
Every word counts. Your every word will be weighed, scrutinized, re-scrutinized, calibrated, re-calibrated, hashed, dissected, analyzed, diagrammed, and microscoped.
So, Senator, as I said before, "Get a grip." With both hands.
You will certainly need one.
"Hope" Merwin...home with the Lord.
My wonderful friends, Mitch and Lisa Merwin, sent me a very profound and saddening e-mail this morning. Lisa was expecting their second child, whom they planned to name "Hope."
A couple of weeks ago, Mitch informed all of us (their friends and family) that the doctors had found some "complications" with their yet-unborn daughter. Some very serious complications.
We have all been praying like crazy, asking the Lord to heal this child. And God has indeed healed this precious "Hope." He did it HIS way.
I received the following email from Mitch, Lisa, and their small son Micah, earlier today:
Dear friends, Thank you so much for standing by us and praying for us. We cannot express how much it means to us knowing that we have so many close friends who care for us so deeply.
Today, we had a routine check up. We discovered that our baby had no heart tone. Today our baby would have been 23 weeks. It's a bitter/sweet reality. Bitter, because the excitement of meeting this baby has ended before it ever began. Sweet, because our little baby will not have to suffer and is now with Jesus, the great physician.
We will deliver the baby sometime Friday morning. We really appreciate your continued prayers as we know this will be a difficult time. Our little baby is a girl, and we've decided to name her Hope.
We chose this name because of a passage that has comforted us during this difficult season of life. Romans 5:3-5"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us."
In the midst of such grief, we were able to cling to the Lord knowing that He has a plan, which is producing perseverance, character, and hope in our lives. Please continue to pray for us as we continue to grieve and mourn the loss of our baby girl.
Mitch, Lisa and Micah Merwin.
Please keep praying for my precious friends, the Merwins. These wonderful Christ-followers are very much "family" to me. My heart is grieving now.
A couple of weeks ago, Mitch informed all of us (their friends and family) that the doctors had found some "complications" with their yet-unborn daughter. Some very serious complications.
We have all been praying like crazy, asking the Lord to heal this child. And God has indeed healed this precious "Hope." He did it HIS way.
I received the following email from Mitch, Lisa, and their small son Micah, earlier today:
Dear friends, Thank you so much for standing by us and praying for us. We cannot express how much it means to us knowing that we have so many close friends who care for us so deeply.
Today, we had a routine check up. We discovered that our baby had no heart tone. Today our baby would have been 23 weeks. It's a bitter/sweet reality. Bitter, because the excitement of meeting this baby has ended before it ever began. Sweet, because our little baby will not have to suffer and is now with Jesus, the great physician.
We will deliver the baby sometime Friday morning. We really appreciate your continued prayers as we know this will be a difficult time. Our little baby is a girl, and we've decided to name her Hope.
We chose this name because of a passage that has comforted us during this difficult season of life. Romans 5:3-5"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us."
In the midst of such grief, we were able to cling to the Lord knowing that He has a plan, which is producing perseverance, character, and hope in our lives. Please continue to pray for us as we continue to grieve and mourn the loss of our baby girl.
Mitch, Lisa and Micah Merwin.
Please keep praying for my precious friends, the Merwins. These wonderful Christ-followers are very much "family" to me. My heart is grieving now.
Dottie Rambo "beholds" the Lord!
One of the greatest troubadors/poets/songwriters of our time has finally "made it home."
Dottie Rambo's earthly life ended in a tragic accident yesterday morning in southwest Missouri while her bus was on the way to a concert engagement in Texas. Reports say that her entourage hit an embankment, and she was killed almost instantly. Others on the bus are reported to be in serious condition.
This wonderful woman had very humble beginnings in Kentucky, and has lived most of her life proclaiming the good news of the Gospel. Along with her former husband Buck, her daughter Reba, the Singing Rambos swept the gospel music world in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Their tight harmony as a trio was unparalleled.
Also unparalleled was her gift as a songwriter. I've sang her beautiful music for most of my life. Without giving an extensive list, here are some of the ones that come to mind:
The Holy Hills of Heaven
We Shall Behold Him
Stand by the River
I Will Glory in the Cross
He Looked Beyond My Faults
Tears Will Never Stain (the streets of that City)
Behold The Lamb!
New Shoes
On the Sunny Banks
I Go to the Rock...
And so many more!
She is now in the very presence of the Lord Jesus Christ whom she wrote about for so long, and whom she loved all her life!
This old world is a much poorer place because Dottie is no longer with "us." She has gained everything that she ever longed for. The holy hills of heaven called her, and she was ready to answer.
Dottie Rambo's earthly life ended in a tragic accident yesterday morning in southwest Missouri while her bus was on the way to a concert engagement in Texas. Reports say that her entourage hit an embankment, and she was killed almost instantly. Others on the bus are reported to be in serious condition.
This wonderful woman had very humble beginnings in Kentucky, and has lived most of her life proclaiming the good news of the Gospel. Along with her former husband Buck, her daughter Reba, the Singing Rambos swept the gospel music world in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. Their tight harmony as a trio was unparalleled.
Also unparalleled was her gift as a songwriter. I've sang her beautiful music for most of my life. Without giving an extensive list, here are some of the ones that come to mind:
The Holy Hills of Heaven
We Shall Behold Him
Stand by the River
I Will Glory in the Cross
He Looked Beyond My Faults
Tears Will Never Stain (the streets of that City)
Behold The Lamb!
New Shoes
On the Sunny Banks
I Go to the Rock...
And so many more!
She is now in the very presence of the Lord Jesus Christ whom she wrote about for so long, and whom she loved all her life!
This old world is a much poorer place because Dottie is no longer with "us." She has gained everything that she ever longed for. The holy hills of heaven called her, and she was ready to answer.
Friendship Factor #4: "Not a moment too soon"
I am very hesitant to write about my good friend Greg...but I sensed the Lord would have me tell you about him. Here goes:
Greg Stephens came on staff with our local church(Peerless Road, Cleveland TN) as the minister of music. This was 1983. More talent than any one person should ever have in this life time. He was originally from the Black Hills of South Dakota, and was thrilled to be coming back to southeastern Tennessee to fulfill his musical giftedness.
I thought he was pretty wonderful from the first choir rehearsal. He had my unwavering confidence. He could direct a choir to almost unimaginable musical heights, helping us to really 'feel what we are singing about."
He was a bit cocky--but then again, we all can be. Something happened...and I'm not sure what it was. But things began to change...and not for the better.
Things started changing in our local church. Alliances were being made that we had not previously experienced. The "us" and "them" syndrome swept through the music department of the church, and left many people in its wake. I was one of them.
I remained faithful to use the limited abilities that God had given me, and in spite of disappointments and disillusionments, was in the middle seat, second row of the choir loft every Sunday morning and evening.
Now, much to my dismay, Greg was not only the music director, he was also assuming the responsibilities of "Ministry to Singles" for the local church. I thought "Oh great, now I have to put up with his arrogance during the Singles' meetings too..." I was not too happy about it. I had already suffered more disappointment than I had ever asked for.
In September 1986, I made the decision to enter the United States Air Force. It was somewhat of a sudden decision, yet the Lord seemed to have His hand on all the processes, speeding them along for me.
I left my home church, the people I had known for many years, and the familiarity of Cleveland, TN. I thought I had left behind the disappointments, the hurts, the disillusionments, and frustrations as well. But I really didn't. And especially not how I was now feeling about Greg Stephens. I had been part of two ministries that he was directing, and didn't even get a "proper send off" from him. What nerve!
I would occasionally see him when I would be back in TN for various reasons, and we always extended the cordialities that acquaintances with good manners use. But, I was still hurting, harboring, and holding on to alot of things...stuff...baggage...issues.
I received a call in early January 1996 that my Grandmother Fields had suffered a heart attack and that I needed to get back to AL as quickly as possible. I was stationed in West Texas at the time...and made the emergency trip home. I made a quick trip up to Cleveland TN, and felt that I should go see Greg Stephens again, confess what had been troubling my heart for almost ten years.
I found him, at his new ministry assignment, and had the opportunity to sit down and talk, face to face--heart to heart. I confessed everything to him. We cried together. We prayed together. We embraced...and we affirmed our friendship and love for one another as God's children and brothers in the Lord.
He had an appointment already scheduled, and so lunch wouldn't be possible. I bid him adieu, and went back to Alabama, and then on back to West Texas. My heart was lighter, and I knew that God was smiling on what had transpired between Greg and myself.
Five days later, I had just gotten home from the office, and received a telephone call. "Phil, this is Sheena...I've got some bad news for you. Our precious Greg Stephens died of a brain aneurysm this morning about 8:30. I know you loved him, and he treasured you. I'm so sorry, but I knew you would want to know."
I was absolutely stunned! Not Greg...not now...I was preparing to move back to Tennessee and go to seminary...he and I were gonna do some projects together....NO! Not Greg....
But sadly, it was Greg...
The Holy Spirit reminded me of all those passages in the New Testament that instructs God's children about forgiveness, reconciliation, and brotherly love.
I wasted almost ten years...but through God's grace, when God welcomed Greg Stephens into the portals of heaven, I knew that my friend was "finally home."
Some things can't wait...and if they do, it will be too late.
Greg Stephens came on staff with our local church(Peerless Road, Cleveland TN) as the minister of music. This was 1983. More talent than any one person should ever have in this life time. He was originally from the Black Hills of South Dakota, and was thrilled to be coming back to southeastern Tennessee to fulfill his musical giftedness.
I thought he was pretty wonderful from the first choir rehearsal. He had my unwavering confidence. He could direct a choir to almost unimaginable musical heights, helping us to really 'feel what we are singing about."
He was a bit cocky--but then again, we all can be. Something happened...and I'm not sure what it was. But things began to change...and not for the better.
Things started changing in our local church. Alliances were being made that we had not previously experienced. The "us" and "them" syndrome swept through the music department of the church, and left many people in its wake. I was one of them.
I remained faithful to use the limited abilities that God had given me, and in spite of disappointments and disillusionments, was in the middle seat, second row of the choir loft every Sunday morning and evening.
Now, much to my dismay, Greg was not only the music director, he was also assuming the responsibilities of "Ministry to Singles" for the local church. I thought "Oh great, now I have to put up with his arrogance during the Singles' meetings too..." I was not too happy about it. I had already suffered more disappointment than I had ever asked for.
In September 1986, I made the decision to enter the United States Air Force. It was somewhat of a sudden decision, yet the Lord seemed to have His hand on all the processes, speeding them along for me.
I left my home church, the people I had known for many years, and the familiarity of Cleveland, TN. I thought I had left behind the disappointments, the hurts, the disillusionments, and frustrations as well. But I really didn't. And especially not how I was now feeling about Greg Stephens. I had been part of two ministries that he was directing, and didn't even get a "proper send off" from him. What nerve!
I would occasionally see him when I would be back in TN for various reasons, and we always extended the cordialities that acquaintances with good manners use. But, I was still hurting, harboring, and holding on to alot of things...stuff...baggage...issues.
I received a call in early January 1996 that my Grandmother Fields had suffered a heart attack and that I needed to get back to AL as quickly as possible. I was stationed in West Texas at the time...and made the emergency trip home. I made a quick trip up to Cleveland TN, and felt that I should go see Greg Stephens again, confess what had been troubling my heart for almost ten years.
I found him, at his new ministry assignment, and had the opportunity to sit down and talk, face to face--heart to heart. I confessed everything to him. We cried together. We prayed together. We embraced...and we affirmed our friendship and love for one another as God's children and brothers in the Lord.
He had an appointment already scheduled, and so lunch wouldn't be possible. I bid him adieu, and went back to Alabama, and then on back to West Texas. My heart was lighter, and I knew that God was smiling on what had transpired between Greg and myself.
Five days later, I had just gotten home from the office, and received a telephone call. "Phil, this is Sheena...I've got some bad news for you. Our precious Greg Stephens died of a brain aneurysm this morning about 8:30. I know you loved him, and he treasured you. I'm so sorry, but I knew you would want to know."
I was absolutely stunned! Not Greg...not now...I was preparing to move back to Tennessee and go to seminary...he and I were gonna do some projects together....NO! Not Greg....
But sadly, it was Greg...
The Holy Spirit reminded me of all those passages in the New Testament that instructs God's children about forgiveness, reconciliation, and brotherly love.
I wasted almost ten years...but through God's grace, when God welcomed Greg Stephens into the portals of heaven, I knew that my friend was "finally home."
Some things can't wait...and if they do, it will be too late.
Friendship Factor #3: Comfortable with your Emotions.
From Bonds of Iron: Forging Lasting Male Relationships by James Osterhaus Ph.D. (Chicago: Moody Press, 1994) pgs 74-5.
*******************************************************
Whenever two people draw together in friendship, they need to be able to handle the demands that such a relationship accords--that includes emotional demands.
Our emotions spring from responses to four human situations:
pain, danger (the anticipation of pain), pleasure, or desire (the anticipation of pleasure).
From pain comes the emotions of shame, grief, and depression. From pleasure comes happiness, and joy. From danger comes fear, both real and imagined (which we call anxiety) and sometimes anger. Those emotions can actually be experienced locally in the body: For instance, pain in the abdomen, pleasure in the pelvis, fear in the throat, anger in the chest. Indeed, much of our emotional life has to do with responses as our bodies prepare us physically and psychologically to cope with stimuli of all kinds.
It's really not so complicated. Emotions are natural responses we make to the world around us. They occur naturally over the course of our day, ebbing and flowing depending on how our minds perceive the various situations in which we find ourselves. Therefore we should expect them in relationships with others, especially friendships, for here we spend more time with an individual.
Realize that your attitudes affect your experience of emotion. Your attitudes are those core beliefs you hold deep inside, in many cases, far from your ability to rationally scrutinize. Attitudes are laid down by people close to us as we grow and soon become uninspected laws that govern our thoughts, feelings, and ultimately our behaviour.
For example, John is taught from a young age that people can't be trusted. It's hammered in over and over by his parents. This attitude relates to John's basic survival, life and death, so it's a very powerful attitude. Along with this attitude comes the feelings of fear, pain, and anger. As John comes in contact with other people, he takes a defensive stance, which keeps people off balance. As they act off balance in John's presence, he becomes more fearful, and his basic atttitude of mistrust is continually reinforced.
Six common emotions and attitudes:
Anger: I will go crazy, destroy others, be destroyed be bad.
Fear: I'll be helpless, crazy, unable to defend myself, unmanly, weak.
Sadness: I'll die, fall apart, hurt forever, disappear, go crazy, be ugly.
Shame: I'll be seen as limited and not adequate
Joy: I'll be bad, childish, irresponsible; someone will be angry,
jealous, punish me. I'll have to pay it back.
For many men, their attitudes toward these emotions are negative. In addition, many Christian circles have taken a dim view of emotions, viewing them with suspicion and outright contempt. They believe emotions should disappear, or at least be suppressed, when the Holy Spirit leads a Christian. As a result, many Christian men have developed deep-seated negative attitudes about expressing certain emotions.
The man who is able to have friends is in the process of coming to terms with his emotional life. He realizes that he has emotions that emerge at various times in response to the differing situations. He neither denies his feelings nor gives absolute sway to them. But he realizes how much feelings play in his life as a person, and he is able to discuss this aspect of himself with his friends.
__________________________________________________________
Again, I'm under conviction at this point. What does this say to you? Please feel free to share..you will be helping someone, including yourself.
*******************************************************
Whenever two people draw together in friendship, they need to be able to handle the demands that such a relationship accords--that includes emotional demands.
Our emotions spring from responses to four human situations:
pain, danger (the anticipation of pain), pleasure, or desire (the anticipation of pleasure).
From pain comes the emotions of shame, grief, and depression. From pleasure comes happiness, and joy. From danger comes fear, both real and imagined (which we call anxiety) and sometimes anger. Those emotions can actually be experienced locally in the body: For instance, pain in the abdomen, pleasure in the pelvis, fear in the throat, anger in the chest. Indeed, much of our emotional life has to do with responses as our bodies prepare us physically and psychologically to cope with stimuli of all kinds.
It's really not so complicated. Emotions are natural responses we make to the world around us. They occur naturally over the course of our day, ebbing and flowing depending on how our minds perceive the various situations in which we find ourselves. Therefore we should expect them in relationships with others, especially friendships, for here we spend more time with an individual.
Realize that your attitudes affect your experience of emotion. Your attitudes are those core beliefs you hold deep inside, in many cases, far from your ability to rationally scrutinize. Attitudes are laid down by people close to us as we grow and soon become uninspected laws that govern our thoughts, feelings, and ultimately our behaviour.
For example, John is taught from a young age that people can't be trusted. It's hammered in over and over by his parents. This attitude relates to John's basic survival, life and death, so it's a very powerful attitude. Along with this attitude comes the feelings of fear, pain, and anger. As John comes in contact with other people, he takes a defensive stance, which keeps people off balance. As they act off balance in John's presence, he becomes more fearful, and his basic atttitude of mistrust is continually reinforced.
Six common emotions and attitudes:
Anger: I will go crazy, destroy others, be destroyed be bad.
Fear: I'll be helpless, crazy, unable to defend myself, unmanly, weak.
Sadness: I'll die, fall apart, hurt forever, disappear, go crazy, be ugly.
Shame: I'll be seen as limited and not adequate
Joy: I'll be bad, childish, irresponsible; someone will be angry,
jealous, punish me. I'll have to pay it back.
For many men, their attitudes toward these emotions are negative. In addition, many Christian circles have taken a dim view of emotions, viewing them with suspicion and outright contempt. They believe emotions should disappear, or at least be suppressed, when the Holy Spirit leads a Christian. As a result, many Christian men have developed deep-seated negative attitudes about expressing certain emotions.
The man who is able to have friends is in the process of coming to terms with his emotional life. He realizes that he has emotions that emerge at various times in response to the differing situations. He neither denies his feelings nor gives absolute sway to them. But he realizes how much feelings play in his life as a person, and he is able to discuss this aspect of himself with his friends.
__________________________________________________________
Again, I'm under conviction at this point. What does this say to you? Please feel free to share..you will be helping someone, including yourself.
Friendship Factor #2: Don't "weatherproof" your friends!
Taken from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all small stuff Richard Carlson, Ph.D. (New York: Hyperion, 1997) pg 105-107.
***************************************************************************************
The idea of weatherproofing as it pertains to peaceful living and friendships is a metaphor to explain one of our most neurotic, ungrateful tendencies.
Just as we can weatherproof a home for the winter by looking for cracks, leaks, and imperfections, we can also weatherproof our relationships, even our lives by doing the very same thing. Essentially, weatherproofing means that you are on the careful lookout for what needs to be fixed or repaired. It's finding the cracks and flaws of life, and either trying to fix them, or at least point them out to others. Not only does this tendency alienate you from other people, it makes you feel bad, too. It encourages you to think about what's wrong with everything and everyone--what you don't like.
So rather than appreciating our relationships and our lives, weatherproofing encourages us to end up thinking that life (and our relationships) isn't all it's cracked up to be. Nothing is ever good enough the way it is.
In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this:
You meet someone and all is well. You are aware of his/her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with these people, you actually appreciate your differences. Often, you have an affinity for the person because of how different you both are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities.
After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new friend(s) that you feel should be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, "You know, you sure have a tendency to......" Or , "I've noticed you don't ......very much." The point is, you've begun what inevitably turns into a way of life--looking for and thinking about what you don't like about someone, or something that isn't quite right...at least not in your eyes and by your all-wise estimation. And often it's not very wise..
Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn't cause for alarm. It's even welcome most of the time. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with thousands of people over the years, I've met very few people who didn't feel that they were being weatherproofed at times by their friends. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at people...and life.
When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them--but it does define you as someone who has an insatiable need to be critical of them.
Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a very bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your relationships, the more you'll notice just how super your life really is."
******************************************************************************************
A very wise person once said, "Pick your friends....but not to death!"
So what do you think?
***************************************************************************************
The idea of weatherproofing as it pertains to peaceful living and friendships is a metaphor to explain one of our most neurotic, ungrateful tendencies.
Just as we can weatherproof a home for the winter by looking for cracks, leaks, and imperfections, we can also weatherproof our relationships, even our lives by doing the very same thing. Essentially, weatherproofing means that you are on the careful lookout for what needs to be fixed or repaired. It's finding the cracks and flaws of life, and either trying to fix them, or at least point them out to others. Not only does this tendency alienate you from other people, it makes you feel bad, too. It encourages you to think about what's wrong with everything and everyone--what you don't like.
So rather than appreciating our relationships and our lives, weatherproofing encourages us to end up thinking that life (and our relationships) isn't all it's cracked up to be. Nothing is ever good enough the way it is.
In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this:
You meet someone and all is well. You are aware of his/her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with these people, you actually appreciate your differences. Often, you have an affinity for the person because of how different you both are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities.
After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new friend(s) that you feel should be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, "You know, you sure have a tendency to......" Or , "I've noticed you don't ......very much." The point is, you've begun what inevitably turns into a way of life--looking for and thinking about what you don't like about someone, or something that isn't quite right...at least not in your eyes and by your all-wise estimation. And often it's not very wise..
Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn't cause for alarm. It's even welcome most of the time. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with thousands of people over the years, I've met very few people who didn't feel that they were being weatherproofed at times by their friends. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at people...and life.
When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them--but it does define you as someone who has an insatiable need to be critical of them.
Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a very bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your relationships, the more you'll notice just how super your life really is."
******************************************************************************************
A very wise person once said, "Pick your friends....but not to death!"
So what do you think?
Friendship Factor #1: "Ready to Love"
I posted these in another forum several years ago, and I wanted to share them here. These are "Friendship Factors" that I've found tremendously useful.
*********************************
Taken from BONDS OF IRON: FORGING LASTING MALE RELATIONSHIPS by James Osterhaus, Ph.D (Chicago: Moody Press, 1994) 69ff:
The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. The indifferent person does not care to reach out. But the person who has experienced true love and is now able to love can experience friendship. But what is love? Clearly a misunderstood word, love finds its clearest definitions in the descriptions used by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Lewis Smede's helpful book, Love Within Limits analyzes this powerful passage of the Bible, and I base the following discussion on many of Dr Smedes' insights.
Love hangs in there, even to the point of ignoring it's own needs. Obviously this requires a focus on the other person. And love looks beyond one's own needs and focuses on the other person, rendering support when needed (because it's just plain kind). Some people are too focused on themselves and their overwhelming sense of neediness. Friendship will not be a part of their lives until they are able to focus on another.
Love doesn't fear being left out. It doesn't hold on tight. Love is able to let go. Erotic love is born of need. "I love you because I need you and I will possess you." But friendship love can let go and realize that in letting go the person will still be there. I can rejoice in your successes. I can see you relate in friendship to others and not be intimidated (the idea of freond, loved and free).
Love has poise. It doesn't need to come on boastfully or arrogantly. It doesn't need to be rude for that matter. Boastful, arrogant people push themselves into our lives (basically because underneath this strident spirit is a sense of unworthiness and inadequacy.) A friend doesn't have to always push...sometimes maybe, but not always. They are comfortable enough to sit by and wait.
Love doesn't insist on its own rights. Love doesn't need to be first all the time. I may even forego a claim to my own personal rights, in behalf of my friendship/relationship with others.
Love isn't irritable, irritability being the launching pad of anger. Not that we don't get angry. But anger is inspected and properly handled to make sure it stays within godly limits. True love has the power to communicate anger constructively, so that even if I am angry with my friend (or vice versa) it is not a threat to our relationship.
Love hates evil. It seeks to drive it out. Love then rejoices in the truth that breaks through. Love needs the reality that truth brings.
Furthermore, love carries the burdens and sorrows of a friend. Love believes in the friend, it's impulse being to trust in rather than suspect the worst of a friend. In fact, love looks beyond the messiness of this present situation, and peers into the future, and brings hope with it? What does it see when it peers there?
It sees JESUS with all the possibilities that He brings into our lives now and in the future.
Love doesn't remove the bad things from relationships: it gives us power to endure them. But not only do we endure the pressure, we grow as a result of it. And of course, love lasts. In fact, it goes on into eternity. And as you love your friends, that friendship/relationship goes on and endures.
*********************************
Taken from BONDS OF IRON: FORGING LASTING MALE RELATIONSHIPS by James Osterhaus, Ph.D (Chicago: Moody Press, 1994) 69ff:
The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. The indifferent person does not care to reach out. But the person who has experienced true love and is now able to love can experience friendship. But what is love? Clearly a misunderstood word, love finds its clearest definitions in the descriptions used by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Lewis Smede's helpful book, Love Within Limits analyzes this powerful passage of the Bible, and I base the following discussion on many of Dr Smedes' insights.
Love hangs in there, even to the point of ignoring it's own needs. Obviously this requires a focus on the other person. And love looks beyond one's own needs and focuses on the other person, rendering support when needed (because it's just plain kind). Some people are too focused on themselves and their overwhelming sense of neediness. Friendship will not be a part of their lives until they are able to focus on another.
Love doesn't fear being left out. It doesn't hold on tight. Love is able to let go. Erotic love is born of need. "I love you because I need you and I will possess you." But friendship love can let go and realize that in letting go the person will still be there. I can rejoice in your successes. I can see you relate in friendship to others and not be intimidated (the idea of freond, loved and free).
Love has poise. It doesn't need to come on boastfully or arrogantly. It doesn't need to be rude for that matter. Boastful, arrogant people push themselves into our lives (basically because underneath this strident spirit is a sense of unworthiness and inadequacy.) A friend doesn't have to always push...sometimes maybe, but not always. They are comfortable enough to sit by and wait.
Love doesn't insist on its own rights. Love doesn't need to be first all the time. I may even forego a claim to my own personal rights, in behalf of my friendship/relationship with others.
Love isn't irritable, irritability being the launching pad of anger. Not that we don't get angry. But anger is inspected and properly handled to make sure it stays within godly limits. True love has the power to communicate anger constructively, so that even if I am angry with my friend (or vice versa) it is not a threat to our relationship.
Love hates evil. It seeks to drive it out. Love then rejoices in the truth that breaks through. Love needs the reality that truth brings.
Furthermore, love carries the burdens and sorrows of a friend. Love believes in the friend, it's impulse being to trust in rather than suspect the worst of a friend. In fact, love looks beyond the messiness of this present situation, and peers into the future, and brings hope with it? What does it see when it peers there?
It sees JESUS with all the possibilities that He brings into our lives now and in the future.
Love doesn't remove the bad things from relationships: it gives us power to endure them. But not only do we endure the pressure, we grow as a result of it. And of course, love lasts. In fact, it goes on into eternity. And as you love your friends, that friendship/relationship goes on and endures.
Sixteen years ago last night...
I had a spiritual encounter unlike any I had ever experienced before...or since.
Here's what happened:
I was living/stationed in Oslo, Norway at the time. I was active duty in the United States Air Force. This was a very difficult assignment in many ways...mainly because of the horrible working conditions/situation in which I was placed.
I was stressed beyond any reasonable limits, and was having a real spiritual battle in my heart, head, and soul as well. I felt as though I could tell no one, and that made me even more "isolated" than ever. I was part of two great congregations in the Oslo area (one met on Sunday mornings, and the other met on Sunday evenings). So "fellowship" and being part of a local congregation wasn't the "immediate need"--or at least I don't think it was.
May 1, 1992 was a holiday in Norway: "May Day"...Europeans love their holidays. And the American service/government personnel living in Norway also had the day off. On the night before, I had decided that it was 'time to do something' about the angst and confusion in my soul.
I lived about 500 feet from the train station in my neighborhood, so after work, I went home, changed clothes, and jumped on the train to go "downtown" for the evening. I was clearly wanting to engage in some type of activity that would help ease the "emotional pain" and the frustrations in my life.
Never been an alcoholic drinker (save for less than three glasses of wine, up to this point), but thought I might try it. [Beer looks like urine and smells worse, in my opinion, so that was definitely OUT]. I was 30 years old, so I could "do what I wanted with whomever, wherever I wanted"--or so I thought. As long as it was legal, and caused no "harm" to anyone else...hey, I was open to it. Even as a Christian, I was so troubled in my mind and heart, that I just wanted to find some "relief" for all the emotional turmoil and pain I was experiencing.
I went into a few bars--had a few Sprites. Went into a few clubs, and watched alot of people dance, and flirt, etc. Yet, the pain wasn't going away. The deep frustration in my soul wasn't being eased. Of course with only a SPRITE in my hand, the best I would get would be a "sugar buzz"...and I was just too cheap to buy anything stronger!
About 11 p.m. that evening, I was in OsloSentralStasjon (the main train hub in the center of the city), and knew that I needed to talk with someone...have someone pray for me...anything...
So I tried calling my friend Rick Polachek (at the time a Navigator in the USAF, stationed in Plattsburg, NY), from the pay phone in the train station. The line was continually busy. I needed to talk with him, and pour out my heart....I had to....I must!
After several failed attempts, I was about to give up, when a young Norwegian army fellow came by me, and asked about a pay phone. I pointed him to the nearest one. He was still dressed in his military uniform, and had traveled from the far northern part of the country. He was down to visit a friend of his.
He tried to call someone, and couldn't reach them. I heard him say a few things (nothing off-color, or vulgar), and went to see if I could assist him in some way. I identified myself as American military, attached to NATO/Embassy, and wanted to offer any help that I could. He explained his situation to me--he needed to reach his friend, so he would have a place to spend the evening.
I lived in a beautiful three bedroom home, and had plenty of room. I offered him the room for the evening, and after a short conversation, he accepted. His name was Jan Torge. I can't remember his surname. But that's beside the point.
We got in a taxi, and were on our way to my house. It was well after midnight by this time. As soon as we arrived, I showed him the guest bedroom, and the kitchen. (Every man needs to know where the food is stored...LOL). He asked if he could take a shower. I consented, and showed him where the "necessities" were.
He took a rather long shower....actually a REAL long shower.
I went in my bedroom, climbed into my bed, opened my Bible, and began my "guilt trip." I shed a few tears, and told God how sorry I was that I had disappointed Him, myself, and that I needed help. This little "episode" lasted for about 30 minutes.
About the time I was getting ready to turn out the light, my houseguest gets out of the shower, and knocks on my bedroom door. "May I come in? I need to tell you something..."
At this point, I really didn't want to talk about anything. I assumed I had already caused enough grief for myself and God for one day. However, Jan Torge then said, "While I was showering, the Lord spoke to me, and you need to know......"
BUSTED!
At that point, I knew that I needed to "hear" this good man out. (Keep in mind, when I offered him a place to stay, I didn't even know he was a Christian...maybe, because I never asked.)
I invited Jan to come in and talk with me. He made some small talk, and then said,
"Phil, my English isn't very good, but the Lord wants you to know that He loves you. He has seen every place that you have been tonite. You've been searching for _________, but God wants you to know that He has something so much better for you." He then proceeded to tell me everything that I had done that evening--to the place, not missing any details.
He then opened my Bible, and shared some passages with me. The next thing I knew, we were on our knees that evening weeping before the Lord, repenting, and confessing.
This lasted until about 3 a.m. in the morning.
The next morning, I got up, and started preparing breakfast for myself and my house guest. He asked if he could use the telephone to reach his "friend" whom he couldn't reach the previous evening. "Of course," I said, "Go right ahead."
Now this had to be God: The person he was trying to reach, Jon Erik Selle, was my very best friend from the Oslo Kristne Centre (the Sunday evening church where I worshipped and fellowshipped)!
So yes, God is still very active in the lives of His children today! That was sixteen years ago last night...and I remember it as though it were yesterday.
Here's what happened:
I was living/stationed in Oslo, Norway at the time. I was active duty in the United States Air Force. This was a very difficult assignment in many ways...mainly because of the horrible working conditions/situation in which I was placed.
I was stressed beyond any reasonable limits, and was having a real spiritual battle in my heart, head, and soul as well. I felt as though I could tell no one, and that made me even more "isolated" than ever. I was part of two great congregations in the Oslo area (one met on Sunday mornings, and the other met on Sunday evenings). So "fellowship" and being part of a local congregation wasn't the "immediate need"--or at least I don't think it was.
May 1, 1992 was a holiday in Norway: "May Day"...Europeans love their holidays. And the American service/government personnel living in Norway also had the day off. On the night before, I had decided that it was 'time to do something' about the angst and confusion in my soul.
I lived about 500 feet from the train station in my neighborhood, so after work, I went home, changed clothes, and jumped on the train to go "downtown" for the evening. I was clearly wanting to engage in some type of activity that would help ease the "emotional pain" and the frustrations in my life.
Never been an alcoholic drinker (save for less than three glasses of wine, up to this point), but thought I might try it. [Beer looks like urine and smells worse, in my opinion, so that was definitely OUT]. I was 30 years old, so I could "do what I wanted with whomever, wherever I wanted"--or so I thought. As long as it was legal, and caused no "harm" to anyone else...hey, I was open to it. Even as a Christian, I was so troubled in my mind and heart, that I just wanted to find some "relief" for all the emotional turmoil and pain I was experiencing.
I went into a few bars--had a few Sprites. Went into a few clubs, and watched alot of people dance, and flirt, etc. Yet, the pain wasn't going away. The deep frustration in my soul wasn't being eased. Of course with only a SPRITE in my hand, the best I would get would be a "sugar buzz"...and I was just too cheap to buy anything stronger!
About 11 p.m. that evening, I was in OsloSentralStasjon (the main train hub in the center of the city), and knew that I needed to talk with someone...have someone pray for me...anything...
So I tried calling my friend Rick Polachek (at the time a Navigator in the USAF, stationed in Plattsburg, NY), from the pay phone in the train station. The line was continually busy. I needed to talk with him, and pour out my heart....I had to....I must!
After several failed attempts, I was about to give up, when a young Norwegian army fellow came by me, and asked about a pay phone. I pointed him to the nearest one. He was still dressed in his military uniform, and had traveled from the far northern part of the country. He was down to visit a friend of his.
He tried to call someone, and couldn't reach them. I heard him say a few things (nothing off-color, or vulgar), and went to see if I could assist him in some way. I identified myself as American military, attached to NATO/Embassy, and wanted to offer any help that I could. He explained his situation to me--he needed to reach his friend, so he would have a place to spend the evening.
I lived in a beautiful three bedroom home, and had plenty of room. I offered him the room for the evening, and after a short conversation, he accepted. His name was Jan Torge. I can't remember his surname. But that's beside the point.
We got in a taxi, and were on our way to my house. It was well after midnight by this time. As soon as we arrived, I showed him the guest bedroom, and the kitchen. (Every man needs to know where the food is stored...LOL). He asked if he could take a shower. I consented, and showed him where the "necessities" were.
He took a rather long shower....actually a REAL long shower.
I went in my bedroom, climbed into my bed, opened my Bible, and began my "guilt trip." I shed a few tears, and told God how sorry I was that I had disappointed Him, myself, and that I needed help. This little "episode" lasted for about 30 minutes.
About the time I was getting ready to turn out the light, my houseguest gets out of the shower, and knocks on my bedroom door. "May I come in? I need to tell you something..."
At this point, I really didn't want to talk about anything. I assumed I had already caused enough grief for myself and God for one day. However, Jan Torge then said, "While I was showering, the Lord spoke to me, and you need to know......"
BUSTED!
At that point, I knew that I needed to "hear" this good man out. (Keep in mind, when I offered him a place to stay, I didn't even know he was a Christian...maybe, because I never asked.)
I invited Jan to come in and talk with me. He made some small talk, and then said,
"Phil, my English isn't very good, but the Lord wants you to know that He loves you. He has seen every place that you have been tonite. You've been searching for _________, but God wants you to know that He has something so much better for you." He then proceeded to tell me everything that I had done that evening--to the place, not missing any details.
He then opened my Bible, and shared some passages with me. The next thing I knew, we were on our knees that evening weeping before the Lord, repenting, and confessing.
This lasted until about 3 a.m. in the morning.
The next morning, I got up, and started preparing breakfast for myself and my house guest. He asked if he could use the telephone to reach his "friend" whom he couldn't reach the previous evening. "Of course," I said, "Go right ahead."
Now this had to be God: The person he was trying to reach, Jon Erik Selle, was my very best friend from the Oslo Kristne Centre (the Sunday evening church where I worshipped and fellowshipped)!
So yes, God is still very active in the lives of His children today! That was sixteen years ago last night...and I remember it as though it were yesterday.
Final Salute: A Story of Unfinished Lives
A "must read." I just listened to an amazing radio interview with Colonel Steve Beck (USMC), and author Jim Sheeler about the "story" of fallen Marines from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. The interview played on National Public Radio's program, "FRESH AIR" with Terri Gros. It was a riveting program.
So riveting, in fact, that I went to www.amazon.com and purchased the book which is due to be released tomorrow.
Let me encourage you to get this volume, and read it. Give a copy to a friend...to your pastor, or to someone whom you care about deeply.
Our brave men and women in uniform deserve our deepest respect, adulations, and heartfelt gratitude.
So riveting, in fact, that I went to www.amazon.com and purchased the book which is due to be released tomorrow.
Let me encourage you to get this volume, and read it. Give a copy to a friend...to your pastor, or to someone whom you care about deeply.
Our brave men and women in uniform deserve our deepest respect, adulations, and heartfelt gratitude.
Some "Points to Ponder"...
Taken from GINGER SNAPS: Fun Thoughts on Life (Compiled by Dian Ritter):
Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.
Beaten paths are for beaten people.
There's no such thing as a ladder of success: It is a greased pole.
A friend is always delighted at your success--as long as it doesn't exceed their own.
Success tip: Start at the bottom and wake up.
There is no traffic jam on the "extra mile."
Our first energy crisis was known as Monday Morning.
Gambling is a way of getting nothing for something.
You can't take it with you, and it's getting harder to keep it while you're here!
Bringing up children is simple--if you don't have any.
I'm a light eater: As soon as it is light, I start eating!
Fight Truth Decay.
Frown--at least you'll get credit for thinking.
If you ask enough people, you can usually find someone who'll advise you to do what you were going to do anyway.
**Everyone has insecurities...but often about different things**
People carried away with their own importance seldom have far to walk back.
A great deal of what we see depends on what we are looking for.
**I came up with this one--all by myself!
Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them.
Beaten paths are for beaten people.
There's no such thing as a ladder of success: It is a greased pole.
A friend is always delighted at your success--as long as it doesn't exceed their own.
Success tip: Start at the bottom and wake up.
There is no traffic jam on the "extra mile."
Our first energy crisis was known as Monday Morning.
Gambling is a way of getting nothing for something.
You can't take it with you, and it's getting harder to keep it while you're here!
Bringing up children is simple--if you don't have any.
I'm a light eater: As soon as it is light, I start eating!
Fight Truth Decay.
Frown--at least you'll get credit for thinking.
If you ask enough people, you can usually find someone who'll advise you to do what you were going to do anyway.
**Everyone has insecurities...but often about different things**
People carried away with their own importance seldom have far to walk back.
A great deal of what we see depends on what we are looking for.
**I came up with this one--all by myself!
To the Chicago Tribune
I sent the following letter to the Chicago Tribune yesterday. Let's see if it gets published. Here it is:
We have had a rash of violence on the city's South side. I have been deeply troubled by all the "gun violence" and other forms of criminal activity that regularly makes the news here in Chicago.
I've lived here almost eight years, and it has troubled me for almost that entire time. I'm glad that Mayor Daley's office finally recognized that "parents" have responsibilities too. Now, if the parents will believe that ONE concept.
However, I was a teenager not too many years ago (less than 30 years ago), and I grew up without all the "stuff" that many teens (and their families) think necessary for survival today. I have some things for our "society" to think about.
First, for the parents:
Telling your child "NO" and meaning it, (and being willing to enforce the consequences) is not child abuse. It is your responsibility. This is particularly important when it comes to curfews, homework, and respect. If that child lives under your roof, eats from your table, then he/she should be served notice: they will observe and obey YOUR rules. That is your responsibility.
Knowing where your child is before, during, and after school hours is not "spying" on your children. It is YOUR responsibility to know where they are, and what they are doing.
Knowing your child's friends and other relationships is YOUR responsibility...it is not "emotionally abusing" to anyone...and particularly not to your child(ren).
Knowing (and respecting) your child's school teacher is YOUR responsibility. His/her job is already difficult enough, because 9 times out of 10, they are having to teach "your child" things that you should have taught them in the first place...IN YOUR HOME. Be grateful for your child's teacher, and support them every opportunity that comes along.
Telling your child that guns, gangs, and sexual activity are OFF-LIMITS to them (and meaning it) is your responsibility. Their "self-esteem" will be in much better shape when you give them boundaries, and consequences. They need both. We do not need more "babies" having babies, and "children" raising children. Abstinence still works. Your children must know this, and you must tell them. Abstinence from GUNS, GANGS, and SEXUAL ACTIVITY (until they are much more prepared than they currently are) is possible.
For the child/teenager:
I grew up without the love and guidance of my natural parents. They abandoned me when I was very, very small. But what I did have was alot of grown-ups who cared about me enough to make sure that I got a good education, and learned how to find my place in the society. I have some advice for you too:
It is not abuse when an adult insists that you use good manners. This includes "sir, ma'am" and "please" "thank you" and " you are welcome" in your conversations. It is your responsibility to learn these things, and it is the adult's right to insist that you learn them.
You are not entitled to the same "respect" as adults because you are not an adult--yet! When an adult tells you to comb your hair, pull up your pants, and look like a "prospect" instead of a "suspect"--listen to them! We have been down those "roads" before and we see how dangerous they can be. Your self-esteem will not suffer. And if it does, you will get over it. You will be grateful that someone cared enough about you to not let you "self-destruct".
Your friends are not always right. And if they live "without boundaries" chances are they are usually wrong. Show them what an intelligent, maturing person looks like, from your own example.
You can wear cheaper clothes, and cheaper shoes, and still live! The world will not stop rotating if you have to look "normal" and "presentable."
Respect your school teachers. Insisting that you learn and not be a "thug" the rest of your life is not abuse! It is what the taxpayers of this nation expect and deserve. If you are truly being abused, make sure that you tell an adult, and then let us help you. But insisting that you "learn the lessons" and become a productive member of the society is our right...and it is your responsibility.
We have had a rash of violence on the city's South side. I have been deeply troubled by all the "gun violence" and other forms of criminal activity that regularly makes the news here in Chicago.
I've lived here almost eight years, and it has troubled me for almost that entire time. I'm glad that Mayor Daley's office finally recognized that "parents" have responsibilities too. Now, if the parents will believe that ONE concept.
However, I was a teenager not too many years ago (less than 30 years ago), and I grew up without all the "stuff" that many teens (and their families) think necessary for survival today. I have some things for our "society" to think about.
First, for the parents:
Telling your child "NO" and meaning it, (and being willing to enforce the consequences) is not child abuse. It is your responsibility. This is particularly important when it comes to curfews, homework, and respect. If that child lives under your roof, eats from your table, then he/she should be served notice: they will observe and obey YOUR rules. That is your responsibility.
Knowing where your child is before, during, and after school hours is not "spying" on your children. It is YOUR responsibility to know where they are, and what they are doing.
Knowing your child's friends and other relationships is YOUR responsibility...it is not "emotionally abusing" to anyone...and particularly not to your child(ren).
Knowing (and respecting) your child's school teacher is YOUR responsibility. His/her job is already difficult enough, because 9 times out of 10, they are having to teach "your child" things that you should have taught them in the first place...IN YOUR HOME. Be grateful for your child's teacher, and support them every opportunity that comes along.
Telling your child that guns, gangs, and sexual activity are OFF-LIMITS to them (and meaning it) is your responsibility. Their "self-esteem" will be in much better shape when you give them boundaries, and consequences. They need both. We do not need more "babies" having babies, and "children" raising children. Abstinence still works. Your children must know this, and you must tell them. Abstinence from GUNS, GANGS, and SEXUAL ACTIVITY (until they are much more prepared than they currently are) is possible.
For the child/teenager:
I grew up without the love and guidance of my natural parents. They abandoned me when I was very, very small. But what I did have was alot of grown-ups who cared about me enough to make sure that I got a good education, and learned how to find my place in the society. I have some advice for you too:
It is not abuse when an adult insists that you use good manners. This includes "sir, ma'am" and "please" "thank you" and " you are welcome" in your conversations. It is your responsibility to learn these things, and it is the adult's right to insist that you learn them.
You are not entitled to the same "respect" as adults because you are not an adult--yet! When an adult tells you to comb your hair, pull up your pants, and look like a "prospect" instead of a "suspect"--listen to them! We have been down those "roads" before and we see how dangerous they can be. Your self-esteem will not suffer. And if it does, you will get over it. You will be grateful that someone cared enough about you to not let you "self-destruct".
Your friends are not always right. And if they live "without boundaries" chances are they are usually wrong. Show them what an intelligent, maturing person looks like, from your own example.
You can wear cheaper clothes, and cheaper shoes, and still live! The world will not stop rotating if you have to look "normal" and "presentable."
Respect your school teachers. Insisting that you learn and not be a "thug" the rest of your life is not abuse! It is what the taxpayers of this nation expect and deserve. If you are truly being abused, make sure that you tell an adult, and then let us help you. But insisting that you "learn the lessons" and become a productive member of the society is our right...and it is your responsibility.
"Stimulation Addiction"...We are Paying the Price...
I recently had a conversation with a very close "family" member, and they were telling me how "tired" they always seem to be--exhaustion is their current state of life. I did my best to must as much sympathy as I possibly could, but for some reason I wanted to say, "It's all your own fault."
This friend/family member has two almost-teenaged children, a boy and a girl. These two "almost teenagers" are constantly on the go: doing something every waking hour of the day. They are in school during the normal hours, then participate in every extra-curricular activity imaginable when they are not "in school." And they are not even teenagers yet!
This family doesn't have a clue what it means to be "still, and unoccupied"--not even for a few hours. I feel sorry for them.
Here's why:
Our entire culture seems to be addicted to activity and stimulation of one type or another.
All the time.
We make sure that something is stimulating our minds, nerves, or bodies at all times. We have long lost the concept of being "still" and just "being." It's the television, or the computer, or the radio, or the baseball/basketball/football/rugby/soccer et al and we never know when to say "it's enough. Now we are just going to enjoy each other, and the peace and quiet of life."
If it's not a cup of coffee (which these days more resembles a "chemistry experiment"), then it's something else that has to get us "jump started." That's a very sad commentary on what "contemporary culture" has become.
No wonder the Scriptures admonish us to "be still and know"....we seem to have so much 'going on' around us...but "know" so very little. We are constantly "on the go" and miss so much that God has to tell us, show us, and do within us.
I remember telling a friend (some years ago) that God often speaks clearly to me when I am in the shower in the mornings...and as funny as that may sound, it was true at the time. It seems that was the only time the Lord could have my complete attention....and it's not a very flattering commentary on my ability/desire/opportunities to "listen."
So, what do you think? Are you 'stimulation-addicted'? How do you know? What do you propose to do about it?
This friend/family member has two almost-teenaged children, a boy and a girl. These two "almost teenagers" are constantly on the go: doing something every waking hour of the day. They are in school during the normal hours, then participate in every extra-curricular activity imaginable when they are not "in school." And they are not even teenagers yet!
This family doesn't have a clue what it means to be "still, and unoccupied"--not even for a few hours. I feel sorry for them.
Here's why:
Our entire culture seems to be addicted to activity and stimulation of one type or another.
All the time.
We make sure that something is stimulating our minds, nerves, or bodies at all times. We have long lost the concept of being "still" and just "being." It's the television, or the computer, or the radio, or the baseball/basketball/football/rugby/soccer et al and we never know when to say "it's enough. Now we are just going to enjoy each other, and the peace and quiet of life."
If it's not a cup of coffee (which these days more resembles a "chemistry experiment"), then it's something else that has to get us "jump started." That's a very sad commentary on what "contemporary culture" has become.
No wonder the Scriptures admonish us to "be still and know"....we seem to have so much 'going on' around us...but "know" so very little. We are constantly "on the go" and miss so much that God has to tell us, show us, and do within us.
I remember telling a friend (some years ago) that God often speaks clearly to me when I am in the shower in the mornings...and as funny as that may sound, it was true at the time. It seems that was the only time the Lord could have my complete attention....and it's not a very flattering commentary on my ability/desire/opportunities to "listen."
So, what do you think? Are you 'stimulation-addicted'? How do you know? What do you propose to do about it?
A Cause for GREAT ALARM...
Many thanks to my friend, Pastor Jim Martin (out in the "Midwest") for this wonderful satire:
I see on the news that wind generators are popping up all over the United States. This causes me grave concern. I'm afraid that if every state in the union starts building wind generators, then all of our wind will be used up and we'll be forced to become dependent upon foreign wind. Do you realize that right now we have no wind reserve set up. This is a resource and must be managed correctly. If not, one day we'll go outside and want to fly a kite and be unable to because there will be no wind left for the common man. It will be all controlled by foreign own wind magnates with no concern for the well-being of the American people. All they will be interested in is making a profit and having enough wind for themselves. I think we also need to look at developing alternative sources of wind lest one day all the wind be used up and the people be left without power.
I have confidently assured him that as "long as there are Preachers and other public speakers, we will not have a shortage of either wind or hot air."
What say ye?
I see on the news that wind generators are popping up all over the United States. This causes me grave concern. I'm afraid that if every state in the union starts building wind generators, then all of our wind will be used up and we'll be forced to become dependent upon foreign wind. Do you realize that right now we have no wind reserve set up. This is a resource and must be managed correctly. If not, one day we'll go outside and want to fly a kite and be unable to because there will be no wind left for the common man. It will be all controlled by foreign own wind magnates with no concern for the well-being of the American people. All they will be interested in is making a profit and having enough wind for themselves. I think we also need to look at developing alternative sources of wind lest one day all the wind be used up and the people be left without power.
I have confidently assured him that as "long as there are Preachers and other public speakers, we will not have a shortage of either wind or hot air."
What say ye?
Happy Birthday, Raymond Pruitt: Eighty-Six Years Young!
One of my "heroes" in life celebrates his 86th birthday today!
Bishop Raymond M Pruitt, one of those gentle giants of the Pentecostal tradition and a lifetime hero of mine, turned 86 today.
I first met Raymond Pruitt when I was just a snotty-nosed teenager in the West Huntsville (AL) Church many years ago. At the time, he was a professor at Tomlinson College in Cleveland, TN. He is a prolific author, an extremely capable administrator--having served as overseer in Nebraska, Hawaii, Kansas, England, Canada, and elsewhere. His son Jim, and daughter-in-law, Mary Grace, were members of the West Huntsville congregation. Thus, I got to know, love and adore the Pruitt family. I loved them then, and now more than thirty years later, I still love them.
Bishop Pruitt and his wonderful wife Aleda began their ministry many years ago right here in Chicago. Few people have encouraged me over the last 3+ decades the way that Raymond Pruitt has encouraged me. Whether I was in the military, in seminary, or just living "life", this humble and godly man has always had a "timely" word of love and appreciation for me. There have been times when I just felt like calling he and Sister Pruitt to let them know how much they have meant to me over the years. I'm glad that I did. Both of them are such treasures in my life.
I could say so much about Raymond M. Pruitt. Right now, all I want to say is
Happy Birthday!
Bishop Raymond M Pruitt, one of those gentle giants of the Pentecostal tradition and a lifetime hero of mine, turned 86 today.
I first met Raymond Pruitt when I was just a snotty-nosed teenager in the West Huntsville (AL) Church many years ago. At the time, he was a professor at Tomlinson College in Cleveland, TN. He is a prolific author, an extremely capable administrator--having served as overseer in Nebraska, Hawaii, Kansas, England, Canada, and elsewhere. His son Jim, and daughter-in-law, Mary Grace, were members of the West Huntsville congregation. Thus, I got to know, love and adore the Pruitt family. I loved them then, and now more than thirty years later, I still love them.
Bishop Pruitt and his wonderful wife Aleda began their ministry many years ago right here in Chicago. Few people have encouraged me over the last 3+ decades the way that Raymond Pruitt has encouraged me. Whether I was in the military, in seminary, or just living "life", this humble and godly man has always had a "timely" word of love and appreciation for me. There have been times when I just felt like calling he and Sister Pruitt to let them know how much they have meant to me over the years. I'm glad that I did. Both of them are such treasures in my life.
I could say so much about Raymond M. Pruitt. Right now, all I want to say is
Happy Birthday!
Pope Benedict XVI and 45,000 people in Washington, DC
Let me say, first of all, that we Americans are delighted that the Bishop of Rome has come to visit the United States. His bright red shoes (8.5 shoe size, USA standards), his incredible intellect, and his good heart will definitely bring "something" to us during his very brief stay here on this side of the Big Pond.
But what about those forty-five thousand people who gathered into the baseball stadium in the District of Columbia to see "the Vicar of Christ"? I'm wondering if any of these people who were so "pleased and delighted and blest" to see the Pontiff will truly seek after the Christ whom He supposedly represents.
Now don't get me wrong here. I have MANY, MANY friends who are Roman Catholic. A few years ago, I had even given it a brief (yet very serious) consideration myself. Yet, somewhere in the depth of my "heart of hearts" I knew the corruption and contradictions the "Church of Rome" has made of the Holy Scriptures.
I always admired Pope John Paul II (Karol Wotilya), and was tremendously saddened when he died a few years ago. I felt then (and I feel now) that JP2 was a tremendous world leader, a great man of integrity, and someone who truly possessed a personal relationship with the Christ he proclaimed.
For the next few days, His Holiness Benedict XVI will have the world's attention while he is here in the United States--and that is as it should be. But what about all those "adoring faithful" once he leaves and returns to the "Eternal City"?
What about my Catholic friends who think nothing of regular drunkenness, sexual immorality, lack of personal integrity, and the "emptiness" of their rituals (once they get around to performing them)?
What about those "Catholics" who claim to see "The Blessed Virgin Mary" every time there is an unusual "natural phenomenon" (strong water stains, abnormal salt deposits)? While the Pope represents some 70 million Catholics in the USA, I wonder how many of them are really concerned about the Son of God that he preaches? Many will believe every report of the "miraculous" but won't come near the "truth of the Gospel" to save their lives and the life of those they love the most.
Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life..No man comes to the Father except by Me."
I hope that 45,000 people remember that tonite, when the revelry and excitement of the "German Shepherd" has been muffled.
But what about those forty-five thousand people who gathered into the baseball stadium in the District of Columbia to see "the Vicar of Christ"? I'm wondering if any of these people who were so "pleased and delighted and blest" to see the Pontiff will truly seek after the Christ whom He supposedly represents.
Now don't get me wrong here. I have MANY, MANY friends who are Roman Catholic. A few years ago, I had even given it a brief (yet very serious) consideration myself. Yet, somewhere in the depth of my "heart of hearts" I knew the corruption and contradictions the "Church of Rome" has made of the Holy Scriptures.
I always admired Pope John Paul II (Karol Wotilya), and was tremendously saddened when he died a few years ago. I felt then (and I feel now) that JP2 was a tremendous world leader, a great man of integrity, and someone who truly possessed a personal relationship with the Christ he proclaimed.
For the next few days, His Holiness Benedict XVI will have the world's attention while he is here in the United States--and that is as it should be. But what about all those "adoring faithful" once he leaves and returns to the "Eternal City"?
What about my Catholic friends who think nothing of regular drunkenness, sexual immorality, lack of personal integrity, and the "emptiness" of their rituals (once they get around to performing them)?
What about those "Catholics" who claim to see "The Blessed Virgin Mary" every time there is an unusual "natural phenomenon" (strong water stains, abnormal salt deposits)? While the Pope represents some 70 million Catholics in the USA, I wonder how many of them are really concerned about the Son of God that he preaches? Many will believe every report of the "miraculous" but won't come near the "truth of the Gospel" to save their lives and the life of those they love the most.
Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life..No man comes to the Father except by Me."
I hope that 45,000 people remember that tonite, when the revelry and excitement of the "German Shepherd" has been muffled.
What would "they" say about you?
At a men's small group meeting last Saturday morning, it was my responsibility to "lead the Bible discussion." I found out the week before that I was being "tagged" to lead the group's gathering for the following Saturday morning.
I thought all week about what we could discuss. I wanted to stay away from the "deep theological issues" (eschatology, pneumatology, etc). I felt that we should think about the "common stuff" in Scriptures that we often whiz right by, without paying much attention to what is there.
Here is the passage I used:
1 I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, 2 that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.
3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, 4 who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. 5 Likewise greet the church that is in their house.
Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who is the firstfruits of Achaia to Christ. 6 Greet Mary, who labored much for us. 7 Greet Andronicus and Junia, my countrymen and my fellow prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me.
8 Greet Amplias, my beloved in the Lord. 9 Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys, my beloved. 10 Greet Apelles, approved in Christ. Greet those who are of the household of Aristobulus. 11 Greet Herodion, my countryman. Greet those who are of the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord.
12 Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, who have labored in the Lord. Greet the beloved Persis, who labored much in the Lord. 13 Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine. 14 Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermas, Patrobas, Hermes, and the brethren who are with them. 15 Greet Philologus and Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints who are with them.
__________________________________________________
If a church member was writing a letter that would possibly be read many years after it's writing, and your name was mentioned, what would be said about you?
Personally, I think Paul was doing more than just mentioning people who were "co-laborers" in the Gospel. I believe he was pointing out people who were "special" and had much to offer, and had the reputation for being everything a good faithful Christian should be. (We find in other passages where he was not so complimentary towards some folks).
So, now I ask the question: "If a member of your local church were writing a letter to be read to posterity years later, what would they say about you?"
I thought all week about what we could discuss. I wanted to stay away from the "deep theological issues" (eschatology, pneumatology, etc). I felt that we should think about the "common stuff" in Scriptures that we often whiz right by, without paying much attention to what is there.
Here is the passage I used:
1 I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, 2 that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.
3 Greet Priscilla and Aquila, my fellow workers in Christ Jesus, 4 who risked their own necks for my life, to whom not only I give thanks, but also all the churches of the Gentiles. 5 Likewise greet the church that is in their house.
Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who is the firstfruits of Achaia to Christ. 6 Greet Mary, who labored much for us. 7 Greet Andronicus and Junia, my countrymen and my fellow prisoners, who are of note among the apostles, who also were in Christ before me.
8 Greet Amplias, my beloved in the Lord. 9 Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ, and Stachys, my beloved. 10 Greet Apelles, approved in Christ. Greet those who are of the household of Aristobulus. 11 Greet Herodion, my countryman. Greet those who are of the household of Narcissus who are in the Lord.
12 Greet Tryphena and Tryphosa, who have labored in the Lord. Greet the beloved Persis, who labored much in the Lord. 13 Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine. 14 Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermas, Patrobas, Hermes, and the brethren who are with them. 15 Greet Philologus and Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the saints who are with them.
__________________________________________________
If a church member was writing a letter that would possibly be read many years after it's writing, and your name was mentioned, what would be said about you?
Personally, I think Paul was doing more than just mentioning people who were "co-laborers" in the Gospel. I believe he was pointing out people who were "special" and had much to offer, and had the reputation for being everything a good faithful Christian should be. (We find in other passages where he was not so complimentary towards some folks).
So, now I ask the question: "If a member of your local church were writing a letter to be read to posterity years later, what would they say about you?"
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