Rules of the North

In all fairness, I wanted to collect these rule for the North....some of them are my own creation, and some of them were contributed by those who shall remain nameless.

1. Yes, we are developing stereotypes about you...

2. Biscuits are not a separate food group.

3. We do not have to eat GRAVY with everything...

4. It's not cold, you are just not insulated for our weather.

5. Grits? If I want to eat hominy, I'll chew it myself, thank you.

6. You lost the war, we won it. Get over it!

7. We can't understand a word you are saying...we don't think you are speaking in tongues, and besides you are scaring the children.

8. When you are told, "Don't travel because of the snow" you might want to time.

9. Yes, Starbucks are welcomed here..don't mess with it. Or we will MESS with you!

10. The word "marathon" does not mean an extra long church service.

11. Look, I asked where McDonald's is located, that doesn't mean I want your entire family history, while you are trying to remember where Mickey D's might be.

12. If you want to see your next birthday...or anyone else's, you will stop at the sign.

13. Vote early and vote often: Not a suggestion...A Commandment!

14. Alligator isn't a big snack commodity up here. Quit asking for it.

15. We spell "taters" with a "P" in Potato.

16. "Bagel" is not a long's also not pronounced as two words.

17. Get to the point...I asked a simply question, and all I want is an answer...not a novel.

18. There are lots of things to see here...."The mall" wasn't what I had in mind.

19. You are in a traffic jam with 23, 432 other people on this mile. Stop crying, your mascara is running.

20. It is a shopping cart...not a "buggy."

What say ye?


Joe Misek said...

Very well done, Phil. Here's another one: "Yes, that train is carrying PEOPLE! People ride the train up here to get around, and they pay to use it."

K E Alexander said...

In Rhode Island it's not a shopping cart or a buggy, it's a "bascart". Really.