My heart is aching....

Someone that I care about a great deal is faced with one of the most serious situations of his life thus far: His estranged wife has filed for divorce. They have been separated for a few months...and though this "final" act was somewhat inevitable, the "knowing" doesn't make it any less painful for him.

What is even more painful for me is that I (along with several others) strongly admonished this brother in Christ to "slow down" the romance train that he had revved up a couple of years ago. He had dated this woman (some ten years older than himself) a few times, and then decided to propose marriage to her. He was living at my place at the time, and this was like a small hand-propelled rocket landing in my living room.

He's a very smart graduate, and pretty talented in most areas. But he isn't very good with relationships, and many of us (who dearly love him) attempted to tell him that.

I'm a pretty "direct" person, and I kindly, but firmly let him know that he needed to do some serious work on his "communication" habits. He didn't listen. He was so angry and aggravated with me, that he moved out...and his situation didn't get any better.

Neither did his relationships.

He was so angry with me that I wasn't even invited to the wedding. He didn't speak for a long time...and we are members of the same local church.

I wish I had the words to describe the pain I am feeling for my friend right now. I wish I could make it all better for him. But I can't.

I just can't. All I can do is love him, walk through this "vale of tears" with him, and help him to realize that God still loves him deeply, profoundly, and intimately.

He has suffered rejection at an unspeakably painful level....divorce.

I just want to show him the love of Jesus the best I can. That may take some doing.


Kevin Bussey said...

Sorry Phil,

I just prayed for your friend.

M. Steve Heartsill said...


Trust me, you are doing exactly what your friend really needs (even though he has no idea that he does at this moment). You are praying for him, you are loving him, and if/when he comes to you, you will continue to hold him accountable! Now, that is a true friend! That is a true messenger from God.

His journey will not be easy, nor will yours with him. Be patient. Be loving. But, be firm. Eventually, he'll see just how dear a friend you are!