Bishop Timothy D Coalter, Senior Pastor of the Peerless Road Church in Cleveland, TN addresses this question profoundly, and biblically in his series "Handling Fire."
You can hear this marvelous series on the link posted.
Pastor Coalter has been a friend of mine for many years. He has been a shepherd of God's people for many, many years. He and his wife Kelli, are shepherding a congregation where I was a member for more than sixteen years.
Listen to the series, and then contact Pastor Coalter. He'll be delighted to hear from you.